I am stacking bodies in the camp outside of the starting town. Nobody suspects a thing yet. I kill them one by one either on the road or sleeping in their beds. Then I drag them to the camp to stack. I think there's other stuff you can do like questing and playing dice, but I'm just going to keep stacking bodies until the whole town is dead. Then I'll move onto the next one.

Henry has come to see us and he's hungry for the taste of cuman blood! Crossbow: Check 🏹 Pistala: Check 🔫 The sword that Dad made for Dad: Check🗡 Pet the dog: Check 🐶 Bohemia: Czech 🏰

I thought the first game taught me everything about medieval life. I was wrong. Kingdom Come 2 has now taught me that I'm not just bad at sword fighting - I'm also terrible at 15th-century social interactions, economic management, and apparently basic human functions like eating food without dying. Henry may be getting older, but I'm still playing him like a concussed medieval toddler with commitment issues. This game's realism is so intense that I've started questioning whether I could survive actual medieval times. I can't even make it through a simple conversation without accidentally insulting three nobles and starting a blood feud. My Henry has the diplomatic skills of a caffeinated badger, and somehow I've made him the most hated man in Bohemia while trying to be helpful. The combat system has evolved from 'confusing medieval dance' to 'even more confusing medieval dance with extra steps.' I've spent 47 hours in combat tutorials and I still swing my sword like I'm trying to open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles. Meanwhile, every peasant I fight moves like they trained with samurai masters and have PhD's in medieval warfare. I've become emotionally invested in Henry's hygiene routine. Spending 20 minutes making sure he's properly bathed, well-fed, and wearing clean clothes has become more important than the main quest. I've turned this epic medieval adventure into a medieval life simulation where the primary goal is maintaining acceptable body odor levels. The lockpicking minigame has evolved into something that requires the precision of a brain surgeon and the patience of a saint. I've broken more lockpicks than a medieval burglar with Parkinson's, and I'm pretty sure the game is personally judging my real-world manual dexterity through my inability to turn tiny digital mechanisms. My horse relationship status: It's complicated. We've been through battles together, shared intimate moments of getting lost in forests, and I've fed him more expensive food than I eat in real life. But he still occasionally decides that bridges are lava and cliffs are highways. Our trust issues run deeper than Henry's daddy problems. The save system continues to operate on medieval principles, which means I can only save by sleeping or drinking expensive potions. I've accidentally lost 3 hours of progress because I tried to pickpocket a guard 'just to see what would happen.' What happened was regret. So much regret. I've spent more time reading in-game books than I have real books this year. The lore is so detailed that I now know more about 15th-century Bohemian politics than current world events. My friends ask about current affairs and I respond with detailed analyses of medieval taxation systems and feudal obligations. The quest design makes me feel simultaneously like a legendary hero and the village idiot. I can lead armies into battle and influence the fate of nations, but I still get lost trying to find the local tavern. GPS was clearly humanity's greatest invention, and medieval people were basically superhumans for navigating anywhere without it. My inventory management has evolved into medieval Tetris played by someone who's colorblind and has never seen geometric shapes. I carry 47 different types of medieval items I don't understand, can't use, and refuse to sell because 'what if I need this rusty spoon for a quest someday?' 10/10 would accidentally start a medieval political incident while trying to buy bread again. This game has taught me that the real treasure isn't the friends we made along the way - it's the crippling anxiety of never knowing if you're about to accidentally insult someone's honor and die in a duel. Now excuse me, I need to spend 2 hours deciding which historically accurate doublet makes Henry look most trustworthy. Was this review helpful?

Now that we have Boomsticks in the sequel, Henry of Skalitz has become the first active shooter. "Remember - no Cuman."

I am stacking bodies in the camp outside of the starting town. Nobody suspects a thing yet. I kill them one by one either on the road or sleeping in their beds. Then I drag them to the camp to stack. I think there's other stuff you can do like questing and playing dice, but I'm just going to keep stacking bodies until the whole town is dead. Then I'll move onto the next one.

You mean to tell me that if I have a successful game and I hone it, have a laser-focused vision for it, improve it in every single way instead of changing things for the sake of changing things an following trends, and have the fans who enjoyed the original game front and center as my target audience, i will make a masterpiece? somebody should call Bioware and tell them about this revolutionary way to deliver games. JESUS CHRIST BE PRAISED!

My computer can run it without dlss and frame generation as god intended

After almost 120 hours, I have now finished the game. I also accidentally got gay sex along the way. Truly, a massive game. Edit: For clarity, I was excited, and pogging when I saw that the gay sex was an option.

runs properly on day 1. groundbreaking achievement for the video games industry.

I never Review in Steam but Who ever made this game needs his balls sucked I am not sure If I am allowed to say this but I mean it in a good way thank you for the perfect game.

Alot of the great points of the first game are still there like the immersion and challenge, but there's some glaring issues and I can't recommend the game until some of the bigger ones are dealt with. Combat

• Enemies have supernatural amounts of health, for the first half of the game even completely unarmored ones take dozens of stabs from swords and slashes from axes and even crossbow bolts directly to the face.
• But then for the second half of the game you'll be so overpowered that you'll cleave through men in plate armor like butter. The power creep needs to be evened out and made more realistic.
• They also have supernatural levels of stamina, swinging a small sword three times will completely wind you meanwhile even low tier enemies will get a dozen attacks off while carrying a shield and wearing armor.
• The camera and the angle of your attacks use the same controls, so while trying to do a master strike or hit vulnerable angles of the enemy you'll constantly be losing your lock and looking off into nowhere while your opponent just continues to lay into you.
• Just like the first game the combos are way too clunky and unresponsive to pull off in most actual fights, it would be better if they ditched the concept of premade combos and leaned into the more freeform systems like master strikes and parries to make them more fluid.
• If an enemy isn't already hostile to you and you try to attack them first then you'll almost always just end up swinging at the air until they finally take the initiative and attack you first, by which point you're already low on stamina from swinging through their body because the horrible lock-on system said you weren't in combat. This issue more than any will cause you frustration.
• Stealth kills are RNG, even if you manage to find a dagger and do the work to sneak up on an enemy there's still a chance that they'll just counter your stealth kill, which will almost always be followed by you dying immediately after because you bothered to not wear armor so you could be stealthy enough to sneak up on them.
• Ranged weapons do completely insignificant amounts of damage, it takes multiple headshots from a crossbow to even kill a single deer, you'll take like 20 seconds to load a crossbow only to end up doing a single sword swing's worth of damage if the bolt even connects.
• If you put a way a readied crossbow it will need to do the entire loading process all over again when you take it out again.
• Arrows and bolts will routinely pass through enemies and do no damage, and a fully charged arrow with all the buffs will often bounce right off the face of an unarmored human.
• You can take a fair amount of damage just from people running near you.

Dialogue

• Speech checks are wildly inconsistent, there will be completely mundane conversations where you'll have a speech check for something totally simple and you won't be able to pass it without having maxed out speech and charisma while wearing the fanciest outfit you can find, meanwhile convincing someone to do something insane for a story mission will be nearly impossible to fail. There needs to be some standard for logic behind the dialogue system.
• You will lose reputation for literally nothing on a regular basis, often times while just selecting basic questions in a mandatory conversation for the main story.
• To summarize there are just way too many conversations where you are designed to fail, it's the illusion of choice and all it does is confuse the player by setting a false standard for what you can and can't do.

Miscellaneous

• Finding beds can be extremely illogical and inconsistent, you'll get to the point where you need sleep but the only bed you can get away with sleeping in will literally be miles away. And while not all taverns offering rooms might be historically accurate it makes playing a hardcore game like this more frustrating than it needs to be. There desperately needs to be a mechanic to make camp like in RDR2 or Dragon's Dogma 2.
• Interaction keybinds are very inconsistent or otherwise very awkward, for example you'll have to use the E key to do a specific action in one situation, it will be F in another situation, and then in another situation the exact same action will require right click. In a game where blinking at the wrong time can get you killed or fail a mission making it impossible to develop muscle memory for basic controls is extremely frustrating.
• Saving without using an owned bed requires a semi-rare consumable that you either have to make or buy, which between the bugs, janky combat, and inconsistent speech checks save scumming is practically mandatory. Most people end up using the infinite saving mod and that really shouldn't be necessary for something so basic.
• Your total carrying capacity changes randomly due to various variables and it's extremely frustrating.
• Your dog's obedience drops insanely quickly, even with all the houndmaster buffs it will go from 100 to 0 in a day and even faster if he ever takes any damage. You have to feed him as much as an army and pet him several times every day to keep his obedience up. And then there's all the usual issues with having a dog like them getting in the way of doors constantly and pissing off NPCs.
• Not exactly game breaking, but your entire outfit will get extremely dirty within minutes of just standing around. At most your shoes should be getting dirty most of the time.

Spent the last of my groschen on the Gold Edition this game:

Now I’m broke, can’t afford a bath or a wench, and I feel quite hungry… But it’s all worth it because, after seven years, Henry came to see us! Jesus Christ be praised!

Absurdly, the sequel to one of the most buggy and poorly optimized games of the past decade is released in a perfectly optimized state and with very few bugs.

What's this? A game that's actually polished and in a playable state on launch day? Well i've never! It's also good fun. I seriously recommend it.

Really wish I could be playing it, was looking great… but had to refund as the motion sickness was brutal from walking around. Cutscenes and combat was fine, so I guess it was the head bob but no options to turn it off. Hopefully they’ll add an option in the future or some mod will take care of it cause I’d really like to play it, but right now it makes me want to throw up after a few minutes walking/running :(

the game forces you to talk to a frenchman

Watch a woman hack a man to pieces with a makeshift sword before falling to her knees sobbing. I pick up the sword in front of her, she immediately stops crying, screams "THIEF! I'M GETTING THE BAILIFF! GUARDS!" and runs away while covered head to toe with the blood of the man she just brutally murdered. Not sure how they did it, but I think Bethesda got into a warhorsey disguise and released Skyrim again.

Imagine an AAA game with stable performance and little to no bugs on release.

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- Developer lied and hid the gay shit from us - Henry and Hans are gay - Gay sex scene - 4 hour opening tutorial - 95% of the game is a cutscene - Janky combat - Boring story - Women constantly yapping - Checked Vavra's early life I hope I can refund even though it was pre-ordered months ago. Tired of this woke shit.

This game...is a MASTERPIECE! I had high standards, because of the first game, but they didn't disappoint...They even exceeded my expectations. There is so much fun, love and joy in this game. The story and the characters are written so well, the gameplay/combat is soooo fun, there are some sidequests where i was laughing my ass of for like an hour, some very cool easter eggs, nice armors....and everything feels sooooo real, like...you wanna be a real knight? Then play this game. I could say so much more. But you should try this yourself. YEAH...I MEAN YOU! ;) Also....in germany we would say "ohrwurm"...This game gave me the biggest f*ckin OHRWURM of my life... Like every day this song "Henry, our hero Henry, the fellow who helps his fellow man…" is stuck in my head... Also my little henry got a lil alcohol addiction....wuppsiiiiii.... I will definitely play this game at 100% achievments. Im alsooo so excited for the dlc's. PLEASE DROP THEM SOOOOOON!! q.q Love this game. Bye....I'll continue playing now.

This is the game equivalent to getting lost in Ikea. You came to buy a chair. One hundred hours later you've saved three cats, patched someone's broken leg, fixed the ceiling lights, built a full cabinet, made friends and enemies alike, learned how to operate a forklift, and saved the world. The best part about it is that the chair you came to buy turns out to be the best chair you've ever had.

It's ridiculous that people are attacking this game for the "gay" content. Bro I have been playing this game for almost 30 hours and still not encountered any gay scene even when I really try to select a gay route as much as possible since I am gay. Most of the content are 99% straight and the 1% is the gay content people are complaining about which is close to non-existent. The gay scene would not show up if you do NOT choose that route! some people needs to grow up tbh. If you hate gay so much, you are either closeted that you hate yourself or just plain ignorant to think that gay people do not exist.

This game was beyond disappointing, not just as a so-called new high for RPGs but also as a necessary sequel. I am completely baffled by the praise this game has received this year, and I almost feel lied to by critics and the public audience. In nearly all fronts I see this game as a small to large downgrade from its predecessor. Historical accuracy is given less importance, instead the game is “Marvelfied” with all these moronic one dimensional quippy characters with their catch phrases and lazy contrived conflicts. Such as getting too drunk so the enemy gets the jump on the heroes (happens multiple times). Even most of the soundtrack sounds far more fitting in the basic whimsy fantasy adventure game than in the rich historic countryside of Bohemia, especially compared to the first game. Gone is player choice or agency in the main quest (there are only TWO actual decisions in the whole main story wtf), this game is far far far more railroaded, everything plays out the same no matter what. Even the first game had freedom, like the Monastery quest, there was so so much player freedom and it felt like such an engaging quest to do. Instead we’re left with action-cutscene-action-walk and talk-action- cutscene, cause nothing's more immersive than following waypoints and orders right? And that would be fine if the plot or gameplay was great but it's far from that, it’s supposed to be a role playing game but you’re allowed only one role. Henry is an emotionally weak pansy who lets everyone tell him what to do, and you have no way of expressing yourself through him notably in the main quest. Characters will criticize and lecture you constantly, feels more like the writers of this game demand you to feel and act a certain way for their game to work. Combat sucks, you all should know that, waiting to master strike all game is lame and swords are the only viable weapon. The map and graphics are beautiful, kuttenberg especially should be praised, too bad there's not a whole lot to engage with in it. I personally like the artwork of the map better in KCD1 but that’s completely subjective. Apparently I am almost alone in this opinion, I should be glad that so many people can enjoy it but I couldn’t enjoy this game past the 2nd act for everything listed above. I don’t believe it’s horrible, I just think from what was lacking in KCD1 that this game was gonna be it. Unfortunately it seems Warhorse went more in the consumer friendly direction and made a far more cliche action adventure game, than a modern classic of role playing. My frustration is just very deeply rooted in how much I enjoyed the first game and how excited I was to see their vision realized. But it seems they went the easier route, and made a safe and easy to digest experience. P.S. My thoughts aren’t fully expressed, I have so many more things to say especially when it comes to giving examples but I don’t want to overwrite, cheers to those who read.

Hey you! Person doing market research, perhaps for a company like Ubisoft, reading these reviews trying to figure out why this game is so successful - let me lay it down flat: - buy game, start game, game works, game is fun - main menu has a thank you for buying notice, not trying to sell us more shit - Developers are passionate about quality and what makes a game fun - Singleplayer game, not trying to branch out with any "game as a service" nonsense - modified crytek engine, UE5 pales in comparison in terms of graphics and performance - not afraid of portraying all sides of being human anyone else reading this and thinking of playing i have one piece of advice: Roll with the punches, get arrested - DON'T save scum!! Run away or turn yourself into guards if you get caught doing something shady - if you constantly load a save, you'll never experience the game as intended