SteamCritique
Quiz
🌐 English
RaftRaft
1. launch game 2. wait for your friends 3. realise your friends dont like this game anymore 4. contemplate your loneliness 5. decide whether to play alone 6. close game 7. go cry in a corner
1286 votes funny
1. launch game 2. wait for your friends 3. realise your friends dont like this game anymore 4. contemplate your loneliness 5. decide whether to play alone 6. close game 7. go cry in a corner
1286 votes funny
The shark is kinda thicc ngl
1050 votes funny
Its a very fun game to play, even by yourself if you have 0 friends like me.
859 votes funny
Fun with friends which I dont have.
787 votes funny
Left my friend on an island because he did not want to let me have 50 sheep, chickens and llamas and raft covered in plants. Would desert him again 10/10.
744 votes funny
Minecraft but take out the minec
673 votes funny
I left my ex wife on an island
568 votes funny
YO THIS GAME IS MINECRAFT MINUS THE MINEC
520 votes funny
Rest in Peace Gavin, my beloved goat who died of starvation. I'm sorry for not feeding you. You're in a better place now.
515 votes funny
Nobody reads reviews for sure, so i'll say i'm gay
494 votes funny
shark bad water has shark raft good stay on raft poke shark do other things too raft good
480 votes funny
a very good way to ignore online lessons
406 votes funny
1st min: Damn these graphics are amazing jizzes self 2nd min: Sees an island 3rd min: Approaches the island to find that there is a landshark gltiched in the sand 4th min: I name the shark Johnson 5th min: I look along the shores for crabs 6th min: I find no crabs and give up 7th min: I find a machete 8th min: I explore a shipwreck 9th min: I open a ship door to find a shark inside and it isnt Johnson 10th min: Slowly backs up and swims to the shore 11th min: I tell Johnson what just happened 12th min: I go back to the shipwreck to explore 13th min: I learn that the shark in the ship has left 14th min: I exit the ship to find out that Johnson and 2 of his friends are circling the ship 15th min: I try to swim away but Johnson and his friends have sonic speed and they get me 16-17th min: I am dragged away from the ship into the middle of the ocean while screaming "NO I WANT NO PART OF THIS GANGBANG JOHNSON!!!!!!!!!" 18th min: My wife walks in the room asking why am I talking about gangbanging. 19th min: I look at my screen right as Johnson kills me. 20th min: Realizes this was the best 20 min of my life
397 votes funny
The gameplay is beautiful, creative, and I enjoyed it. But now after 3 years on that raft, I'm a bit tired. I am 53 years old, can you finish this game before I die.
379 votes funny
prettyyyy epic game, the crafting in this game is just so realistic. for example, i found an old pringles can and combined it with two sponges, a rubber glove, and a rubberband
367 votes funny
When is sex update
352 votes funny
My friend forced me to buy it.
342 votes funny
cant havesex with the shark 0/10
316 votes funny
no one reads reviews so il just say im gay asf
305 votes funny
Me and by buddy George went out into the ocean on this little do hicky and we ran out of food, sadly only one of us are here today to tell the tale (I ate him)
299 votes funny
boat
289 votes funny
I am a 45 yo father, probably one of the oldest people playing this game. I am a single farther to my Son, who is 14 now. My son got this game for Christmas from his uncle, so we installed it on his computer and he started playing. By the end of the week he had 24 hours on this game. This was horrible for me, as it was already hard for me to find ways to spend time with my son, as he is always out with his friends or just, watching YouTube. So i decided to make a Steam account and get this game to see if I could maybe play alongside him. loaded into the game, made my character and world and started playing but I was stuck on what you where supposed to do. I asked my Son for help and he hosted a game for me to join. loved it as it was the best time had spent with my Son since my wife had died. This game has ever since brought me and my son closer again and now we actually spend time together outside the house together as well. This game reminded me that there's fun to be had in everything, and it has brought both me and my Son many happy memories.
281 votes funny
I got mauled by a bear and my booty ate by a shark. Also I guess pollution is good cause in this game its your best resource the junk humanity left behind.
273 votes funny
Mixed review, so I will list the good and bad: Good: -Fun to play with friends -You have stuff to do for 20+ hours -Exploring and survival is done well -In creative you can build a pirate ship Bad: -Sometimes lag -Sometimes trouble locating islands -Alone this is boring (sorry shark, you are not enough company) -My alpaca named Marcel keeps dying because he refused to eat (fixed now but rip 4 Marcels) Edit: +New engine and rudder added much control +New islands are easily explored by one person +Lore added +Finally you can charge your empty batteries +Finally you can too farm honey on your raft +Character models to find -Biofuel consumption and making is a meh for me -If you add saltwater too fast to the filter you lose the empty bottle or cup
268 votes funny
Raft Multiplayer and Online has a very critical security breach. That can be used to execute arbitraty code on your computer. The developers did not fix this breach so far, even thoug they were informed Months ago. This breach was found by the french Security firm Synacktiv. This breach is so critical, that i will not start the game until it is fixed. And i would recommend you to do so. Edit (03.01.23): On 22.12.22 the Developers published a patch with the patchnote: "We just wanted to let you know that we have just now pushed a small update containing a rework of the multiplayer network code, to increase security for hosts and clients." They do not reference directly to this vulnerability. According to a Reddit User this patch fixes the vulnerability. Even if this fixes the vulnerability. Ignoring and closing bug reports for months, and only fixing critical security bugs after a security firm publicly informs the players about it. is very bad practice. Obviously the developer does not have the security of their players in mind but the bad press.
258 votes funny

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