Remove the region lock on the songs on Spotify so I can loop Zettai Tonari or else I am putting all of my Umas in the glue factory Edit: They are afraid of the power of my Glue Factory.

As a horse in real life. I must say this game depicts horses very accurately, I'm very satisfied.

This game devoured my soul and gave me a reason to keep breathing through the misery. Before Umamusume: Pretty Derby, I was bitchless, broke, starved for serotonin, and violently unbased. Then I saw her — Oguri Cap — shining like a silvery carb-fueled deity on my screen. She ran a 3,000m race after digesting 14 metric tons of rice, and didn’t even sweat. Shakespeare? Illiterate. Tolkien? Mid. Oguri Cap? Built different. Her thighs could crush tanks. Her eyes pierce into my soul. She doesn't just run — she ascends across the track like a war crime with legs. This wasn’t a game. This was a religious experience. A transmission from God himself: “You will never be enough. But she will.” 10/10

This game changed my life. Before seeing Umamusume: Pretty Derby in the steam shop, I was torn, bitchless, destitute, perhaps even devastated. Then my eyes and ears were blessed with a chorus of 15 horse girls performing on stage. Tears streamed from my eyes; I knew my life would never be the same. Thrilling gameplay, inspiring soundtracks, enticing story, this game truly has it all. It is as Haddam Hussain once said to his peers: "This shit is peak". Words can describe how I feel about this game. This game even goes as far as to break the fourth wall, affecting my real life. My mother walked in on my first derby cup race, and needless to say, tears began to stream out of her eyes as well. "Oh my son, how I'm so proud of you. You are morbidly a beast!". Now after a lifetime (0.3 hours) of gameplay, I am truly transformed. Yes I am still torn, bitchless, and destitute, but I am happy, knowing that I will exist to see Umamusume: Pretty Derby live in the steam store

Sometimes I fantasize about Gold Ship coming home drunk and beating me untill feel numb. She kicks me in the ribs until I can hardly breathe. Then she starts to cry and apologizes, begging me to forgive her. She holds me all night as I gently cry into her chest.

Sometimes I fantasize about Oguri Cap coming home drunk and beating me until i feel numb. She'd kick me in the ribs until I can hardly breathe. Then she starts to cry and apologizes, begging me to forgive her. She holds me all night as I gently cry into her chest. Is there any hope for me

I tried. God, I tried. I gave her the best shoes, the best meals, trained her under the clearest skies, and yet… she lost. She stumbled on the final corner, and I stumbled as a trainer, no, as a human being. How do I look her in the eyes after this? Those bright, hopeful eyes that once sparkled with dreams of victory… now clouded with tears. “I’ll win next time, Trainer!” she said, forcing a smile through her trembling lips — but I knew it was for my sake. I wasn’t just training a racer. I was nurturing a dream. And I crushed it with my incompetence. I picked the wrong races. I misjudged her stats. I overtrained when she needed rest. I failed to notice she was tired. I failed to see she needed a break. I failed… her. The crowds cheered for another, but I heard nothing. Just the sound of her hooves slowing, her breath short, her heart breaking. And mine with it. If you're reading this… cherish your horsegirl. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Because sometimes, it's not the race you lose — It’s her trust.

might be the best game about anime girls based on japanese racehorses ever made

UUUUUUUUUUU (UMADACCHI) UUUUUUUUUUU (UMA PYOI UMA PYOI) UUUUUUU (SUKIDACCHI) UUUUUUU (UMA PYOI) UMA UMA UMYA UMYA SAN NI ICHI FIGHT ☆ !

the only gacha game. the other ones dont exist. dont acknowledge those. they're not real.

>log in >see Super Creek >all over the screen >lost all strength to play Literally unplayable 10/10

I only installed this game to re-roll for my friend so that he can stop doing this and play real games instead. I ended up not getting the characters he wanted but he deserves more pain so its fine.

The most terrifying thing about the Umamusume universe is that real horses don't actually exist.

I've been playing this game for a few days and have fallen completely in love with the fictional horse girl Agnes Tachyon. In a matter of mere days I have decided to break up with my girlfriend who I have a child with all in pursuit of Agnes Tachyon. She is the only one I need. I have decided to bring her into reality by forming a tulpa of her in my head. She has some rather.. odd quirks. Instead of bossing me around in the way I've come to love, that voice i've come to love. That voice that is now the only thing lulling me to sleep.. She instead commands me around with almost ear-bleeding high pitched neighing. It happens almost constantly and has affected my ability to sleep. I know relationships have their ups and downs. I left my gf because my Agnes Tachyon tulpa told me to. Even though she barley utters any words to me she has made it clear that in this relationship I am to belong to no one but her. However, she is allowed to have as many other horse girls as she wants. It's hard on me, but I must accept it as her soon to be loving husband. I would never go against the words of my wife, no matter how much sleep or how many relationships I lose. I will do anything for her. I am already ready to spend all the money my ex is demanding I put aside for child support to whale on her upcoming rateup banners and max everything out along with buying 50 copies of all merch items of her. I will not let anyone make me feel lesser for loving her the way I do. She is my everything. My future wife. I will wake up and go everywhere with her, adopt a child for us to parent.. we will have a good life many of you couldn't even dream of having. I will dedicate everything to Agnes Tachyon. Forever.

Not Recommended ★★☆☆☆ Bro… I just wanted to race anime horses. Now I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of raising clinically depressed horse girls who refuse to be happy no matter how many carrots I throw at them. 💀 I’m not a trainer anymore. I’m a part-time therapist, full-time disappointment. Meanwhile some dude with an SSR grass horse zooms past me like it’s Tokyo Drift while my horse contemplates the meaning of existence at the starting line. Game's fun. Music slaps. But my horse? She’s one motivational speech away from quitting the race and joining a philosophy major. Please fix her, devs. I’m suffering. 🐎💔

The "horse" is a domesticated, one-toed, hoofed mammal. It belongs to the taxonomic family Equidae and is one of two extant subspecies of Equus ferus.

Game of the decade. Nothing comes close. I couldn't even imagine anyone not playing this game and calling themselves a gamer. 5 Stars. 10/10. Smileyface emoji. Backloggd loves it. Strange swamp creatures hate it. You're not a strange swamp creature, right? You will love this game.

The pinnacle of horse girl running with kojima level names and chao garden level gameplay.

THIS GAME IS SO GOOD I LOVE FUJI KISEKI SHE IS MY WIFE is that my glorious, elegant, intelligent, charming, kind, thoughtful, strong, courageous, creative, brilliant, gentle, humble, generous, passionate, wise, funny, loyal, dependable, graceful, radiant, calm, confident, warm, compassionate, witty, adventurous, respectful, sincere, magnetic, bold, articulate, empathetic, inspiring, honest, patient, powerful, attentive, uplifting, classy, friendly, reliable, ambitious, intuitive, talented, supportive, grounded, determined, charismatic, extraordinary, trustworthy, noble, dignified, perceptive, innovative, refined, considerate, balanced, open-minded, composed, imaginative, mindful, optimistic, virtuous, noble-hearted, well-spoken, quick-witted, deep, philosophical, fearless, affectionate, expressive, emotionally intelligent, resourceful, delightful, fascinating, sharp, selfless, driven, assertive, authentic, vibrant, playful, observant, skillful, generous-spirited, practical, comforting, brave, wise-hearted, enthusiastic, dependable, tactful, enduring, discreet, well-mannered, composed, mature, tasteful, joyful, understanding, genuine, brilliant-minded, encouraging, well-rounded, magnetic, dynamic, radiant, radiant-spirited, soulful, radiant-hearted, insightful, creative-souled, justice-minded, reliable-hearted, tender, uplifting-minded, persevering, devoted, angelic, down-to-earth, golden-hearted, gentle-spirited, clever, courageous-hearted, courteous, harmonious, loyal-minded, beautiful-souled, easygoing, sincere-hearted, respectful-minded, comforting-voiced, confident-minded, emotionally strong, respectful-souled, imaginative-hearted, protective, noble-minded, confident-souled, wise-eyed, loving, serene, magnetic-souled, expressive-eyed, brilliant-hearted, inspiring-minded, and absolutely unforgettable Fuji Kiseki?

Released the same day, Way better than Midsona5 : the doodoo X if you picked persona over the funny horse girls, pipebomb incoming

Yes I enjoy training my cute horse girls and tasting them afterwords.

Gacha sucks

Uses Kernel Level Anti-Cheat CrackProof® this means you cant use on steam deck

I thought I was comfortable in making Global tomorrow jokes forever but for once I can say it and mean it. Global Tomorrow.

Peter, the horse is here