
9 Kings
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76561198039142894

Recommended11 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Rats killed my run... i had 12 rats plot level 200 and i got the splicing perk, now the game crash every time i try to continue the run.
I want to finish the run ill try to log in the game in the supercomputer of a friend of mine and try to check the stats of rats
Rats
93 votes funny
76561198039142894

Recommended11 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Rats killed my run... i had 12 rats plot level 200 and i got the splicing perk, now the game crash every time i try to continue the run.
I want to finish the run ill try to log in the game in the supercomputer of a friend of mine and try to check the stats of rats
Rats
93 votes funny
76561198225274760

Recommended121 hrs played (48 hrs at review)
Game for a busy person. The wife said not to spend anymore money because I own a Harley and I did it anyways. now I have 48 Hours in this game and Motorcycle parts still in their packaging.
70 votes funny
76561198008172676

Recommended6 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
Bought the game in early access called "9 Kings". Only 7 kings. Lies.
The game is a lot of fun and an interesting take on a rogue like. Will be waiting for it to live up to its title of "9 Kings".
31 votes funny
76561198123407004

Recommended3 hrs played (3 hrs at review)
Rats, Royalty, and RAM Overload
Came for the kingdom-building. Stayed for the rats. Lost my PC to 12 million attack-speed spearmen. Worth it. Played a normal run: “Oh cool, towers, units, some synergies.” Played endless mode: “What if I made a palace that attacks faster than light?” Game: violently crashes Yes, it’s a roguelike. Yes, it’s a builder. But mostly it’s a science experiment where you see how many layers of broken combos you can stack before the game begs for mercy. (Answer: 6 layers, 1 rat, and a dream.) Pros: Deep strategy with a 3x3 grid. Each king has a totally different, busted playstyle. “Lab Rats” exist and yes, they are a lifestyle. Performance updates are improving things (RIP supercomputers). Cons: – Endless mode isn’t just endless—it’s existential. – Occasionally your units forget how damage works. Or physics. Or numbers. – Game crashes more than your favorite crypto. Wishlist features: A combat replay/debug tool so I can understand how my 5M DPS rats got outdamaged by a sentient bush. Some kind of "what just happened" log for battles. More optimization so I stop judging my GPU like it's a prisoner on trial.Final thoughts:
It’s like Slay the Spire had a fever dream after watching Age of Empires, then woke up screaming about rats and battle palaces. Also, where are the other 2 kings? Are they hiding with the frame rate? Final rating: 9 rats out of 9 kings. Will crash again.26 votes funny
76561197994971909

Not Recommended62 hrs played (14 hrs at review)
The game is fun at lower difficulties when you are learning the different factions and how they work together - there are lots of great ideas and lots of combinations you can try.
However, at the higher difficulties it becomes obvious that only certain specific builds are viable and that you need to be very lucky to get the right things in the right order at the right time. The factions feel too linear and you don't have enough choices to make the game fun. In general, the game would benefit from giving the player more opportunity to tailor their build.
For example, the prophecy mechanic, whilst fun, arrives when most of my build is already in progress making it almost impossible to utilise effectively, and if it does nothing the game becomes significantly harder in the mid-game, to the point that I almost feel like restarting my run halfway through.
The perks are great, but what's the point of specialising in a particular direction if I don't know what cards or factions I'm going to play with? For Christ sake, I don't even get to see my opening hand before I decide where to put my castle. All of this is a shame because the basic feel and flavour of the game is fantastic.
If I were to suggest specific improvements I would wish to change the following:
1. Multiplayer support.
2. The ability to draft starting factions rather than having them assigned entirely randomly. OR being able to choose perks after knowing which factions I'm facing.
3. Having the prophecy declared on year 1 or year 3 rather than year 7.
4. Giving the player a starting hand of 4 cards and playing down to 3 - there are too many years where I'm trying to sandbag one or two cards and as a result I get left with little to no choice about what to play.
5. Giving the player a choice of which faction they face each round.
6. Making scaling cards more flexible - instead of buffing adjacent plots make them buff less plots but have the player choose which ones - either that or give the player more ways and more opportunity to re-arrange plots rather than hoping on getting the right cards from the right faction at the right time.
7. Give the player the choice to exclude certain card types or factions to make runs more consistent.
8. Either remove or increase the level cap for perks - having to choose between re-rolls and essential starting resources at higher difficulties feels like an impossible choice.
In short - more choice = more fun. The choices don't have to make everything available all the time, but having more stuff available more of the time would go along way to making this game more enjoyable at higher difficulties.
22 votes funny
76561197985099900

Recommended21 hrs played
I've wanted this game for years, and didn't even know it.
The rats scale infinitely bro, they just keep scaling.
The rats consume all. This is what Progress demands.
21 votes funny
76561198381896775

Not Recommended43 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
This review is also based on 10+ hours of the demo, which has basically all of the same problems here. I assumed some would be remedied in the main game, but here we are.
If there was a "Netural" Review, I'd give it.
9 Kings is very much a good game, and sets out exactly what it wants to do. It's polished, well made, looks/plays well, and has a lot of cool ideas. But there's also some negative parts to it.
I want to make it clear that even though there's alot of DIFFERENT 'bad things', that doesn't mean the game itself is bad. Its like a statute with a bunch of tiny chips/cracks, but they're still there.
Let's get into it:
Infatuation on 9
Haha. The game is called '9 kings'. so There will be 9 of everything! 9 select-able kings 9 cards per king 9 perks per king This sucks. I'll just say it, it sucks. This force of 9 on everything is very clearly stiffling the game. Besides the fact that it seems to be a hard-limit on the content, the specifics just blow. Not every king has an equal spread of spells, units, and structures. Some kings feel like they need more than their 9 cards to play well. The solution? The game lets you use other cards from other kings. This, however, leads into the next problems:Give Me My Fucking Cards
The way this game works is that when you defeat an enemy, you get one draw from their 9 cards. One enemy is guaranteed to be the 'Rebellion' version of your king, and they are the main way you get your own cards. However, you can have anywhere from 2 to 4 enemies. Do you see the problem? At any given moment, you either get your cards every other round, or every 3-4 rounds. This fucking sucks. If I really like one king, I'm forced to deal with all this other bullshit that I dont want or dont care about. This then leads into the next problem:King Synergy (or lack thereof)
Every king is clearly designed with their own cards in-mind synergy wise, obviously. The problem comes in that you're getting most of your cards from other kings who ARE LIKELY TO NOT have synergy with your king at all. There's some general synergy but that comes in more from cards that can affect everything no matter what. The thing that grinds my gears is when Im trying to run a specific build and keep getting cards that dont relate to it at all, like playing Stone King (who specializes in defensive structures) and I keep getting cards that apply spells to UNITS only. On the topic of kings, thats also the next part:Your King is Irrelevant
Remember how I said that every King has 9 perks? I lied. They share 6 general perks, and have 3 unique ones. This means that the only thing, fundamentally, changing your king gameplay is: - 3 perks - What cards you start with - What rebellions you have The 6 general perks are fine. But good god, the 3 perks make me want to die. Almost every king has a perk which provides a buff when you lose a life. You shouldn't even be losing lives otherwise you're losing anyways, so thats a wasted perk. And some of them are very specific playstyles or just straight up bad. This wouldn't be a problem if perks were decided to only allow 9 per king but hur hur 9 kings!!!!!!! So stupid.Smaller Things
Just a random assortment of things that still matter but cant be talked about much cause they're self explanatory - Gameplay is all about damage. Any strat that isnt 90% based on damage doesn't work because the enemies DO have damage and will kill anything you have in seconds. - Anything that cannot scale infinitely is worthless because enemies scale exponentially and you're meant to as well. Things like Walls, Mycellium, etc, those things keep flat numbers and thus become useless. - I really wish units were more unique? Like, they don't even get unique abilities or movement or behavior 99% of the time. They all dogpile into 1 pile and then one side dies within seconds. IF ONLY THERE WERE MORE THAN 2-3 UNITS PER KING TO ALLOW MORE SPECIALIZED UNITS (IF ONLY THERE WAS ALLOWED TO BE MORE THAN 9 CARDS PER KING) - Leveling takes unreasonably long. I only leveled up from 3 -> 4 after a half-hour long run. - Gameplay takes way too long. A good 40-50% of your time is wasted in animations/cutscenes between turns. Ive lost entire minutes to watching the stupid plot expander come up and down.Solutions?
If you bring up a problem without proposing a solution, that's just hating. So I will propose a solution to what I believe are problems. I'm aware that many of the things I listed either cannot be fixed or are purposefully chosen to not be changed for design purposes, but still how I'd personally go about it: Infatuation on 9 Just add more things? It's literally that easy. If we HAVE to stick with 9 no matter what, then allow players to 'swap' cards. Have a bank of unused cards/perks that players are able to arrange into their kings however they want. Could be serve as unlockable extra content. You'd still only bring 9 into runs, but more than 9 could exist in total. Give Me My Cards You should either be given a draw of your cards EVERY time you beat ANY enemy, or it should be 'easier' to obtain them. Maybe some specific phase or shopkeeper where you can obtain/purchase only your kings cards? King Synergy Think more about relations between kings. If a king doesn't have good synergy at all with another king, then maybe don't make them forced to pick their hands? (Stone/Demon for example). This would be remedied by fixing the previous point since you arent forced to pick cards you dont have a use for anymore.Your King is Irrelevant
This would be helped by all the previous points, but also I feel like Kings could have some more focus. Maybe give them global buffs like stone king having stronger structures, demon king spawning more shit, etc etc. Like automatic king-specific decrees, basically.Smaller Things
In the same order as the 'Smaller Things' above: - Maybe make damage scale less? I'd rather face more enemies with more stuff going on than enemies that deal 9999999 DPS after a few rounds. This doesn't even need to apply to enemies in general, damage should honestly just scale less. Yes, I understand having huge numbers is apart of the fun, but when it blocks out any other strategy from working, kinda sucks. - Try and give EVERYTHING a way to scale. I cry when I see shit like Mycellium or Walls not being affected by buffs - More unique units would be allowed to exist if kings werent limited to only 9 cards. - Make levelling scale more with longer runs? It feels like you're rewarded for doing alot of short runs more than a few long ones, which feels wrong. - Make settings to skip/speed up all the stuff inbetween battles like expansion, draws, messages, etc. 9 Kings is great, but it can be so much better.16 votes funny
76561198037289619

Not Recommended46 hrs played (38 hrs at review)
The game starts out decently fun and promising at lower difficulties, but at higher difficulties it just sadly doesn't hold up to the premise. The only trick it has up its sleeve to make fights more challenging is to make enemies scale faster and harder. Your card rewards are based on the enemies you face. You can't reroll the starting enemy pool. You can't reroll or influence your starting hand. And the enemy scaling eventually winds up so absurd that it's not about making the best out of what you have, it's about getting up the best your chosen character can feasibly pull off; what does this result in?
"I didn't get the enemies I need, I didn't start with the card I can scale to absurdity, I might as well restart". This isn't helped by the fact that the balance is, for lack of a better term, atrocious. Certain units have notable downsides, and certain units just don't. They just don't. Certain enemies just absolutely hardcounter certain unit styles, and if you don't get the units you need to deal with it, that's it. Run over.
Meta-progression isn't enough to carry it either. Each king can level up to 9 times, each level giving one perk point, and there's 9 perk options - 6 of which are generic, 3 are related to the character, and with precious few exceptions, none alter your gameplay enough that you'd look forwards to them.
Staying at lower difficulties extends the grind, which further cements the difference between kings that are just allowed to coast by easily, and the ones that get random nonsense that doesn't help them in any meaningful way. The King of Blood gets two of their core units as well as two scaling towers at the start; the King of Progress gets 2 cards that increase the damage per level gained, which is useful if - IF - you draw one of your units that scale well into the late game.
In short; the current state of balance doesn't properly incentivise going up in difficulty, because the only reward is less grind, which in turn unlocks stuff that is only interesting for some kings.
And with the disparity between good units and bad units, with percentile-based and hence ever-escalating limitless scaling that only SOME units and towers can exploit in SOME ways, it feels like the current way to go is that you either break the game, or you don't play at all.
And that just kinda sucks the fun out of a roguelite. If you can't make the best out of any given situation, if your player input feels like it matters so precious little, if the rewards for levelling up feel so unimpactful because getting to level 9 means getting another point you can put into a perk you could've gotten at level 1 already...
It all just feels like it doesn't fit together as well as it could. It feels like a great game in the making, but the final sum is somehow a little less than the individual parts. However, it's also still early access - and balancing isn't a core problem that can never be fixed. The game may very well yet blossom into something great, but for now, it's just kind of-... eh for the price.
EDIT:
I'm not wholly convinced just yet, but the devs are clearly working on it, having just handed out buffs to units and areas that were previously struggling or underwhelming. The perk system has also been overhauled in favor of something vastly more interesting, also leaning on similarities to the base game's building system. There's a still a few rough patches, but...
We may be getting there and the dev is putting in a genuine effort.
13 votes funny
76561198066606450

Recommended347 hrs played (130 hrs at review)
Game bangs
Reached year 183 and game froze with my archers at half nearly half a centillion damage and my castle at trillions of map wide boulders per second
REALLY strong gameplay loop and build paths
Also 1005 lab rat levels
game is all you could want from it and is being further fleshed out
it freezing at year 183 is reasonable with thousands of calculations per second; aint' meant to go that far yet
number go brr
11 votes funny
76561198349151998

Recommended15 hrs played (3 hrs at review)
Got to year 238. I have lvl 857 rats, their damage has been NaN since year 87, each has 4,4E+34 hp. Hits per second is 1,41E+11. They number 2571 and have a total of 380 spells cast on them. I did not lose. i have killed everyone. No one is attacking. My screen is blood red from my 19 chaos. My polices goes beyond my screen. Every single tower turns white from their attack speed, the buffing period takes longer than combat and my screen freeze for 10 seconds when i fight, i pray every single time that i win and every single time i do.
This is my first game.
11 votes funny
76561198048473831

Not Recommended0 hrs played
The game has a lot of interesting ideas, but it feels like there is a major problem with player agency.
Most of the scaling in the game occurs through buildings that buff units at the end of each round AND is often multiplicative. This means that in most cases you have to lock in a build relatively early in the game because you have to scale your units in order to keep up with the enemy. It also makes it very hard to ever pivot a build because your new units will be so far behind on the scaling curve it's nearly impossible to have them catch up. Because of this I found the late game is often spent not really doing anything. Either your early game was set up well enough that you can scale to win or it wasn't and there's nothing you can do about it.
Thematically I think the game is supposed to be about more macro game play than something like Slay the Spire. But, I think there is a way to do that while still giving the player something meaningful to do at each point in the game. For example, perhaps adding more events or choices later in the game that allow the player to transfer stats between troops or give the player some big payoff if they can meet certain requirements. The blessings are an interesting mechanic that could be used for this, but the problem right now is they are simply just flat buffs if you happen to have the right building on the random square that is picked. It would be interesting to see more events that reward you for having buildings at a certain level, certain combinations of buildings, or other things the player has a little more control over.
9 votes funny
76561198164348579

Recommended16 hrs played (15 hrs at review)
I beat King Difficulty and felt like a genius...
Then the game unlocked King Difficulty 2.
Me: 😎
Game: "Sit down, peasant."
8 votes funny
76561199149581074

Not Recommended15 hrs played (5 hrs at review)
Honestly i am somewhat disappointed. Besides 2 new kings and the already shown (but not unlockable) perks of the kings (9 each, 3 each king unique, others very similar), there is not much different freom the Demo.
The prophecy that you see in the game one time and one time only each run, does not add at all any new content. So for right now - play the demo, thus you will have like 90% of the experience.
If no new, b ig, updates will come - i do not advice to spend money on the game now.
8 votes funny
76561197980112953

Not Recommended37 hrs played (37 hrs at review)
The ideas are neat, but the implementation is not, and leads to a fairly unfun, railroaded gameplay loop on higher difficulties. If the game shapes up well, I'll re-evaluate, but currently it quickly becomes bland and lacks decision-making.
The multiplicative scaling of units obliterates build diversity; you essentially need to get a build with strong scaling started early on (like demons or golden gun) or it feels like you just have no chance on higher difficulties. Essentially, if you get your build online early, the game is a bunch of railroaded dicerolls, but if you get an unlucky board/hand on King IV+, you may as well just restart (depending on build). If the game were based around linear scaling (just increase % base stats), it'd allow for builds that don't rely on such extreme early scaling.
King balance is a bit whacky. The King of Greed is a brutal enemy on higher difficulties; their mercenaries are extremely tanky and their thieves kill quickly. The King of Progress hard walls many unit builds early on at higher difficulties because it has massive tanks with thorns. It feels like the counterplay is just kinda lacking, especially due to how fixated your build has to be on specific, strong plots.
King of Spells is an anomaly; their stuff just doesn't feel like it synergizes well with most others, as it's almost entirely centered around enchants which can only buff units. It also seems like they need a defensive enchant; it's strange that the King of Nothing has a shield buff instead of the King of Spells.
There's also something strange where it says my tower/unit will shoot like 50000x per second and it clearly doesn't... and it seems like changing game speed changes the outcome of gameplay, which would be(?) a pretty bad bug.
6 votes funny
76561199198747971

Not Recommended60 hrs played (58 hrs at review)
as some one who finished the game on hardest difficulties on multiple kings i tell you this.
this is just a rng grind game and there's not much player agency, skill involved or strategy involved.
5 votes funny
76561198047036312

Not Recommended6 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
Game is good, but 90% of the units and building are useless in later difficulties, making the game VERY boring. You basically need to restart until you get the proper enemy kings and starting cards or you literally cannot beat the first few fights. Either nerf the enemies a lot OR buff every single unit and tower to have at least double damage and HP so they can stand any chance
4 votes funny
76561198353505342

Not Recommended12 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
minha namorada me deixou pq eu fiquei a madrugada inteira jogando essa porra ao invés de ir dormir com ela, fiquei muito puto por ter perdido a run no dia 98 contra o king of nature
4 votes funny
76561197975156967

Recommended15 hrs played (13 hrs at review)
9/10 Kings recommend this game
4 votes funny
76561198028092487

Recommended19 hrs played (10 hrs at review)
Had 5 plots of 99+ Lvl rats. Used the Splice Policy. Damage went to 2.35+E9 and GPU started frying eggs and now booting up my save crashed game with a border line kernal panic. 10/10 would recommend.
4 votes funny
76561198129676606

Not Recommended1 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
The game is fun....
but not worth it's price. I also have some hours played on the demo.
It's satisfying, worthwhile playing and i'm sure most people could rack up 5-10 hours, BUT:
-Once you get the hang of it it's kind of stale. Pretty much the same strats with different tastes
-The new kings are fun, however the fun really kicks in when the game's engine can't keep up (or your pc).
-Some stats are hard locked. (attack speed for example) Imagine my dissapointment when i had the perfect golden turret build just for it to do the same damage at 500 as it does at 4.321768E1
-Most kings feel like they are made to feel fun only after you actually finish the "main" run. I feel like the final battle should happen later and be something better... maybe some alliances? maybe a bigger board so you get attacked by multiple kings? idk
Final thoughts and grading:
I see a diamond in the rough here.. a little too rough for my liking but still it's a diamond in the rough.
6.5/10 my recommandation? WISHLIST AND WAIT FOR NEWS.
4 votes funny
76561198055923238

Recommended23 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
10/10 game
I broke the game with rats within 5 minutes of launch
4 votes funny
76561197978163899

Recommended19 hrs played (13 hrs at review)
It's really good, But.
The main game (without endless mode) is great.
It is really fun to find the different possible combinations of towers, troups and buffs and feel the scaling if something works.
The problem comes with endless mode. I know it's not finished, but.
There are random (not connected to stronger chaos events) days that are way harder than others.
There seem to be hidden caps on dmg and attack speed.
E.g. a god of greed palace with >5million attack speed should be able to kill >5million enemies within a second (unlimited dmg).
But it doesnt.
Also I tried something else. I had 3 troups of mercenaries.
Each of them buffed by different things.
One only attack speed, one only dmg, one only health.
When the framerate began to drop randomly one of the troups did more dmg than the others.
Sometimes even the health troup did the most dmg.
Optimization is one thing, but this needs to be implemented in a determenistic way.
No matter how bad the framerate is the outcome of a battle should always be the same.
Maybe a debug tool would help, so that we can replay a fight and show some numbers for enemy attributes and stuff.
Still recommending, but It doesn't feel good to have a perfect strategy and the game isn't able to calculate it correctly.
3 votes funny
76561198276996663

Recommended7 hrs played (7 hrs at review)
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3 votes funny
76561198012306007

Not Recommended13 hrs played (6 hrs at review)
Dont make a Achievement that get to year 99, i go rat build crash about 30 times and on the last crash the game bugs adding king of stone to the roaster when i was avoiding him and never picked him to then get him lose all my money and then lose in 1 seconds of the round starting very sick bug i hope you can fix this so i can 1 get this Achievement or to have fun playing a rat build, other then that A really good and fun game for the cost
3 votes funny
76561198080696729

Recommended22 hrs played (20 hrs at review)
If this was released when I was in school as a flash game, my career outlook would’ve been completely cooked.
Game wasn’t released a decade ago and my career outlook is still completely cooked, but at least I have 9 Kings
10/10 game
2 votes funny
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76561198039142894

Recommended11 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Rats killed my run... i had 12 rats plot level 200 and i got the splicing perk, now the game crash every time i try to continue the run.
I want to finish the run ill try to log in the game in the supercomputer of a friend of mine and try to check the stats of rats
Rats
93 votes funny
76561198039142894

Recommended11 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
Rats killed my run... i had 12 rats plot level 200 and i got the splicing perk, now the game crash every time i try to continue the run.
I want to finish the run ill try to log in the game in the supercomputer of a friend of mine and try to check the stats of rats
Rats
93 votes funny
76561198225274760

Recommended121 hrs played (48 hrs at review)
Game for a busy person. The wife said not to spend anymore money because I own a Harley and I did it anyways. now I have 48 Hours in this game and Motorcycle parts still in their packaging.
70 votes funny
76561198008172676

Recommended6 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
Bought the game in early access called "9 Kings". Only 7 kings. Lies.
The game is a lot of fun and an interesting take on a rogue like. Will be waiting for it to live up to its title of "9 Kings".
31 votes funny
76561198123407004

Recommended3 hrs played (3 hrs at review)
Rats, Royalty, and RAM Overload
Came for the kingdom-building. Stayed for the rats. Lost my PC to 12 million attack-speed spearmen. Worth it. Played a normal run: “Oh cool, towers, units, some synergies.” Played endless mode: “What if I made a palace that attacks faster than light?” Game: violently crashes Yes, it’s a roguelike. Yes, it’s a builder. But mostly it’s a science experiment where you see how many layers of broken combos you can stack before the game begs for mercy. (Answer: 6 layers, 1 rat, and a dream.) Pros: Deep strategy with a 3x3 grid. Each king has a totally different, busted playstyle. “Lab Rats” exist and yes, they are a lifestyle. Performance updates are improving things (RIP supercomputers). Cons: – Endless mode isn’t just endless—it’s existential. – Occasionally your units forget how damage works. Or physics. Or numbers. – Game crashes more than your favorite crypto. Wishlist features: A combat replay/debug tool so I can understand how my 5M DPS rats got outdamaged by a sentient bush. Some kind of "what just happened" log for battles. More optimization so I stop judging my GPU like it's a prisoner on trial.Final thoughts:
It’s like Slay the Spire had a fever dream after watching Age of Empires, then woke up screaming about rats and battle palaces. Also, where are the other 2 kings? Are they hiding with the frame rate? Final rating: 9 rats out of 9 kings. Will crash again.26 votes funny
76561197994971909

Not Recommended62 hrs played (14 hrs at review)
The game is fun at lower difficulties when you are learning the different factions and how they work together - there are lots of great ideas and lots of combinations you can try.
However, at the higher difficulties it becomes obvious that only certain specific builds are viable and that you need to be very lucky to get the right things in the right order at the right time. The factions feel too linear and you don't have enough choices to make the game fun. In general, the game would benefit from giving the player more opportunity to tailor their build.
For example, the prophecy mechanic, whilst fun, arrives when most of my build is already in progress making it almost impossible to utilise effectively, and if it does nothing the game becomes significantly harder in the mid-game, to the point that I almost feel like restarting my run halfway through.
The perks are great, but what's the point of specialising in a particular direction if I don't know what cards or factions I'm going to play with? For Christ sake, I don't even get to see my opening hand before I decide where to put my castle. All of this is a shame because the basic feel and flavour of the game is fantastic.
If I were to suggest specific improvements I would wish to change the following:
1. Multiplayer support.
2. The ability to draft starting factions rather than having them assigned entirely randomly. OR being able to choose perks after knowing which factions I'm facing.
3. Having the prophecy declared on year 1 or year 3 rather than year 7.
4. Giving the player a starting hand of 4 cards and playing down to 3 - there are too many years where I'm trying to sandbag one or two cards and as a result I get left with little to no choice about what to play.
5. Giving the player a choice of which faction they face each round.
6. Making scaling cards more flexible - instead of buffing adjacent plots make them buff less plots but have the player choose which ones - either that or give the player more ways and more opportunity to re-arrange plots rather than hoping on getting the right cards from the right faction at the right time.
7. Give the player the choice to exclude certain card types or factions to make runs more consistent.
8. Either remove or increase the level cap for perks - having to choose between re-rolls and essential starting resources at higher difficulties feels like an impossible choice.
In short - more choice = more fun. The choices don't have to make everything available all the time, but having more stuff available more of the time would go along way to making this game more enjoyable at higher difficulties.
22 votes funny
76561197985099900

Recommended21 hrs played
I've wanted this game for years, and didn't even know it.
The rats scale infinitely bro, they just keep scaling.
The rats consume all. This is what Progress demands.
21 votes funny
76561198381896775

Not Recommended43 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
This review is also based on 10+ hours of the demo, which has basically all of the same problems here. I assumed some would be remedied in the main game, but here we are.
If there was a "Netural" Review, I'd give it.
9 Kings is very much a good game, and sets out exactly what it wants to do. It's polished, well made, looks/plays well, and has a lot of cool ideas. But there's also some negative parts to it.
I want to make it clear that even though there's alot of DIFFERENT 'bad things', that doesn't mean the game itself is bad. Its like a statute with a bunch of tiny chips/cracks, but they're still there.
Let's get into it:
Infatuation on 9
Haha. The game is called '9 kings'. so There will be 9 of everything! 9 select-able kings 9 cards per king 9 perks per king This sucks. I'll just say it, it sucks. This force of 9 on everything is very clearly stiffling the game. Besides the fact that it seems to be a hard-limit on the content, the specifics just blow. Not every king has an equal spread of spells, units, and structures. Some kings feel like they need more than their 9 cards to play well. The solution? The game lets you use other cards from other kings. This, however, leads into the next problems:Give Me My Fucking Cards
The way this game works is that when you defeat an enemy, you get one draw from their 9 cards. One enemy is guaranteed to be the 'Rebellion' version of your king, and they are the main way you get your own cards. However, you can have anywhere from 2 to 4 enemies. Do you see the problem? At any given moment, you either get your cards every other round, or every 3-4 rounds. This fucking sucks. If I really like one king, I'm forced to deal with all this other bullshit that I dont want or dont care about. This then leads into the next problem:King Synergy (or lack thereof)
Every king is clearly designed with their own cards in-mind synergy wise, obviously. The problem comes in that you're getting most of your cards from other kings who ARE LIKELY TO NOT have synergy with your king at all. There's some general synergy but that comes in more from cards that can affect everything no matter what. The thing that grinds my gears is when Im trying to run a specific build and keep getting cards that dont relate to it at all, like playing Stone King (who specializes in defensive structures) and I keep getting cards that apply spells to UNITS only. On the topic of kings, thats also the next part:Your King is Irrelevant
Remember how I said that every King has 9 perks? I lied. They share 6 general perks, and have 3 unique ones. This means that the only thing, fundamentally, changing your king gameplay is: - 3 perks - What cards you start with - What rebellions you have The 6 general perks are fine. But good god, the 3 perks make me want to die. Almost every king has a perk which provides a buff when you lose a life. You shouldn't even be losing lives otherwise you're losing anyways, so thats a wasted perk. And some of them are very specific playstyles or just straight up bad. This wouldn't be a problem if perks were decided to only allow 9 per king but hur hur 9 kings!!!!!!! So stupid.Smaller Things
Just a random assortment of things that still matter but cant be talked about much cause they're self explanatory - Gameplay is all about damage. Any strat that isnt 90% based on damage doesn't work because the enemies DO have damage and will kill anything you have in seconds. - Anything that cannot scale infinitely is worthless because enemies scale exponentially and you're meant to as well. Things like Walls, Mycellium, etc, those things keep flat numbers and thus become useless. - I really wish units were more unique? Like, they don't even get unique abilities or movement or behavior 99% of the time. They all dogpile into 1 pile and then one side dies within seconds. IF ONLY THERE WERE MORE THAN 2-3 UNITS PER KING TO ALLOW MORE SPECIALIZED UNITS (IF ONLY THERE WAS ALLOWED TO BE MORE THAN 9 CARDS PER KING) - Leveling takes unreasonably long. I only leveled up from 3 -> 4 after a half-hour long run. - Gameplay takes way too long. A good 40-50% of your time is wasted in animations/cutscenes between turns. Ive lost entire minutes to watching the stupid plot expander come up and down.Solutions?
If you bring up a problem without proposing a solution, that's just hating. So I will propose a solution to what I believe are problems. I'm aware that many of the things I listed either cannot be fixed or are purposefully chosen to not be changed for design purposes, but still how I'd personally go about it: Infatuation on 9 Just add more things? It's literally that easy. If we HAVE to stick with 9 no matter what, then allow players to 'swap' cards. Have a bank of unused cards/perks that players are able to arrange into their kings however they want. Could be serve as unlockable extra content. You'd still only bring 9 into runs, but more than 9 could exist in total. Give Me My Cards You should either be given a draw of your cards EVERY time you beat ANY enemy, or it should be 'easier' to obtain them. Maybe some specific phase or shopkeeper where you can obtain/purchase only your kings cards? King Synergy Think more about relations between kings. If a king doesn't have good synergy at all with another king, then maybe don't make them forced to pick their hands? (Stone/Demon for example). This would be remedied by fixing the previous point since you arent forced to pick cards you dont have a use for anymore.Your King is Irrelevant
This would be helped by all the previous points, but also I feel like Kings could have some more focus. Maybe give them global buffs like stone king having stronger structures, demon king spawning more shit, etc etc. Like automatic king-specific decrees, basically.Smaller Things
In the same order as the 'Smaller Things' above: - Maybe make damage scale less? I'd rather face more enemies with more stuff going on than enemies that deal 9999999 DPS after a few rounds. This doesn't even need to apply to enemies in general, damage should honestly just scale less. Yes, I understand having huge numbers is apart of the fun, but when it blocks out any other strategy from working, kinda sucks. - Try and give EVERYTHING a way to scale. I cry when I see shit like Mycellium or Walls not being affected by buffs - More unique units would be allowed to exist if kings werent limited to only 9 cards. - Make levelling scale more with longer runs? It feels like you're rewarded for doing alot of short runs more than a few long ones, which feels wrong. - Make settings to skip/speed up all the stuff inbetween battles like expansion, draws, messages, etc. 9 Kings is great, but it can be so much better.16 votes funny
76561198037289619

Not Recommended46 hrs played (38 hrs at review)
The game starts out decently fun and promising at lower difficulties, but at higher difficulties it just sadly doesn't hold up to the premise. The only trick it has up its sleeve to make fights more challenging is to make enemies scale faster and harder. Your card rewards are based on the enemies you face. You can't reroll the starting enemy pool. You can't reroll or influence your starting hand. And the enemy scaling eventually winds up so absurd that it's not about making the best out of what you have, it's about getting up the best your chosen character can feasibly pull off; what does this result in?
"I didn't get the enemies I need, I didn't start with the card I can scale to absurdity, I might as well restart". This isn't helped by the fact that the balance is, for lack of a better term, atrocious. Certain units have notable downsides, and certain units just don't. They just don't. Certain enemies just absolutely hardcounter certain unit styles, and if you don't get the units you need to deal with it, that's it. Run over.
Meta-progression isn't enough to carry it either. Each king can level up to 9 times, each level giving one perk point, and there's 9 perk options - 6 of which are generic, 3 are related to the character, and with precious few exceptions, none alter your gameplay enough that you'd look forwards to them.
Staying at lower difficulties extends the grind, which further cements the difference between kings that are just allowed to coast by easily, and the ones that get random nonsense that doesn't help them in any meaningful way. The King of Blood gets two of their core units as well as two scaling towers at the start; the King of Progress gets 2 cards that increase the damage per level gained, which is useful if - IF - you draw one of your units that scale well into the late game.
In short; the current state of balance doesn't properly incentivise going up in difficulty, because the only reward is less grind, which in turn unlocks stuff that is only interesting for some kings.
And with the disparity between good units and bad units, with percentile-based and hence ever-escalating limitless scaling that only SOME units and towers can exploit in SOME ways, it feels like the current way to go is that you either break the game, or you don't play at all.
And that just kinda sucks the fun out of a roguelite. If you can't make the best out of any given situation, if your player input feels like it matters so precious little, if the rewards for levelling up feel so unimpactful because getting to level 9 means getting another point you can put into a perk you could've gotten at level 1 already...
It all just feels like it doesn't fit together as well as it could. It feels like a great game in the making, but the final sum is somehow a little less than the individual parts. However, it's also still early access - and balancing isn't a core problem that can never be fixed. The game may very well yet blossom into something great, but for now, it's just kind of-... eh for the price.
EDIT:
I'm not wholly convinced just yet, but the devs are clearly working on it, having just handed out buffs to units and areas that were previously struggling or underwhelming. The perk system has also been overhauled in favor of something vastly more interesting, also leaning on similarities to the base game's building system. There's a still a few rough patches, but...
We may be getting there and the dev is putting in a genuine effort.
13 votes funny
76561198066606450

Recommended347 hrs played (130 hrs at review)
Game bangs
Reached year 183 and game froze with my archers at half nearly half a centillion damage and my castle at trillions of map wide boulders per second
REALLY strong gameplay loop and build paths
Also 1005 lab rat levels
game is all you could want from it and is being further fleshed out
it freezing at year 183 is reasonable with thousands of calculations per second; aint' meant to go that far yet
number go brr
11 votes funny
76561198349151998

Recommended15 hrs played (3 hrs at review)
Got to year 238. I have lvl 857 rats, their damage has been NaN since year 87, each has 4,4E+34 hp. Hits per second is 1,41E+11. They number 2571 and have a total of 380 spells cast on them. I did not lose. i have killed everyone. No one is attacking. My screen is blood red from my 19 chaos. My polices goes beyond my screen. Every single tower turns white from their attack speed, the buffing period takes longer than combat and my screen freeze for 10 seconds when i fight, i pray every single time that i win and every single time i do.
This is my first game.
11 votes funny
76561198048473831

Not Recommended0 hrs played
The game has a lot of interesting ideas, but it feels like there is a major problem with player agency.
Most of the scaling in the game occurs through buildings that buff units at the end of each round AND is often multiplicative. This means that in most cases you have to lock in a build relatively early in the game because you have to scale your units in order to keep up with the enemy. It also makes it very hard to ever pivot a build because your new units will be so far behind on the scaling curve it's nearly impossible to have them catch up. Because of this I found the late game is often spent not really doing anything. Either your early game was set up well enough that you can scale to win or it wasn't and there's nothing you can do about it.
Thematically I think the game is supposed to be about more macro game play than something like Slay the Spire. But, I think there is a way to do that while still giving the player something meaningful to do at each point in the game. For example, perhaps adding more events or choices later in the game that allow the player to transfer stats between troops or give the player some big payoff if they can meet certain requirements. The blessings are an interesting mechanic that could be used for this, but the problem right now is they are simply just flat buffs if you happen to have the right building on the random square that is picked. It would be interesting to see more events that reward you for having buildings at a certain level, certain combinations of buildings, or other things the player has a little more control over.
9 votes funny
76561198164348579

Recommended16 hrs played (15 hrs at review)
I beat King Difficulty and felt like a genius...
Then the game unlocked King Difficulty 2.
Me: 😎
Game: "Sit down, peasant."
8 votes funny
76561199149581074

Not Recommended15 hrs played (5 hrs at review)
Honestly i am somewhat disappointed. Besides 2 new kings and the already shown (but not unlockable) perks of the kings (9 each, 3 each king unique, others very similar), there is not much different freom the Demo.
The prophecy that you see in the game one time and one time only each run, does not add at all any new content. So for right now - play the demo, thus you will have like 90% of the experience.
If no new, b ig, updates will come - i do not advice to spend money on the game now.
8 votes funny
76561197980112953

Not Recommended37 hrs played (37 hrs at review)
The ideas are neat, but the implementation is not, and leads to a fairly unfun, railroaded gameplay loop on higher difficulties. If the game shapes up well, I'll re-evaluate, but currently it quickly becomes bland and lacks decision-making.
The multiplicative scaling of units obliterates build diversity; you essentially need to get a build with strong scaling started early on (like demons or golden gun) or it feels like you just have no chance on higher difficulties. Essentially, if you get your build online early, the game is a bunch of railroaded dicerolls, but if you get an unlucky board/hand on King IV+, you may as well just restart (depending on build). If the game were based around linear scaling (just increase % base stats), it'd allow for builds that don't rely on such extreme early scaling.
King balance is a bit whacky. The King of Greed is a brutal enemy on higher difficulties; their mercenaries are extremely tanky and their thieves kill quickly. The King of Progress hard walls many unit builds early on at higher difficulties because it has massive tanks with thorns. It feels like the counterplay is just kinda lacking, especially due to how fixated your build has to be on specific, strong plots.
King of Spells is an anomaly; their stuff just doesn't feel like it synergizes well with most others, as it's almost entirely centered around enchants which can only buff units. It also seems like they need a defensive enchant; it's strange that the King of Nothing has a shield buff instead of the King of Spells.
There's also something strange where it says my tower/unit will shoot like 50000x per second and it clearly doesn't... and it seems like changing game speed changes the outcome of gameplay, which would be(?) a pretty bad bug.
6 votes funny
76561199198747971

Not Recommended60 hrs played (58 hrs at review)
as some one who finished the game on hardest difficulties on multiple kings i tell you this.
this is just a rng grind game and there's not much player agency, skill involved or strategy involved.
5 votes funny
76561198047036312

Not Recommended6 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
Game is good, but 90% of the units and building are useless in later difficulties, making the game VERY boring. You basically need to restart until you get the proper enemy kings and starting cards or you literally cannot beat the first few fights. Either nerf the enemies a lot OR buff every single unit and tower to have at least double damage and HP so they can stand any chance
4 votes funny
76561198353505342

Not Recommended12 hrs played (4 hrs at review)
minha namorada me deixou pq eu fiquei a madrugada inteira jogando essa porra ao invés de ir dormir com ela, fiquei muito puto por ter perdido a run no dia 98 contra o king of nature
4 votes funny
76561197975156967

Recommended15 hrs played (13 hrs at review)
9/10 Kings recommend this game
4 votes funny
76561198028092487

Recommended19 hrs played (10 hrs at review)
Had 5 plots of 99+ Lvl rats. Used the Splice Policy. Damage went to 2.35+E9 and GPU started frying eggs and now booting up my save crashed game with a border line kernal panic. 10/10 would recommend.
4 votes funny
76561198129676606

Not Recommended1 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
The game is fun....
but not worth it's price. I also have some hours played on the demo.
It's satisfying, worthwhile playing and i'm sure most people could rack up 5-10 hours, BUT:
-Once you get the hang of it it's kind of stale. Pretty much the same strats with different tastes
-The new kings are fun, however the fun really kicks in when the game's engine can't keep up (or your pc).
-Some stats are hard locked. (attack speed for example) Imagine my dissapointment when i had the perfect golden turret build just for it to do the same damage at 500 as it does at 4.321768E1
-Most kings feel like they are made to feel fun only after you actually finish the "main" run. I feel like the final battle should happen later and be something better... maybe some alliances? maybe a bigger board so you get attacked by multiple kings? idk
Final thoughts and grading:
I see a diamond in the rough here.. a little too rough for my liking but still it's a diamond in the rough.
6.5/10 my recommandation? WISHLIST AND WAIT FOR NEWS.
4 votes funny
76561198055923238

Recommended23 hrs played (1 hrs at review)
10/10 game
I broke the game with rats within 5 minutes of launch
4 votes funny
76561197978163899

Recommended19 hrs played (13 hrs at review)
It's really good, But.
The main game (without endless mode) is great.
It is really fun to find the different possible combinations of towers, troups and buffs and feel the scaling if something works.
The problem comes with endless mode. I know it's not finished, but.
There are random (not connected to stronger chaos events) days that are way harder than others.
There seem to be hidden caps on dmg and attack speed.
E.g. a god of greed palace with >5million attack speed should be able to kill >5million enemies within a second (unlimited dmg).
But it doesnt.
Also I tried something else. I had 3 troups of mercenaries.
Each of them buffed by different things.
One only attack speed, one only dmg, one only health.
When the framerate began to drop randomly one of the troups did more dmg than the others.
Sometimes even the health troup did the most dmg.
Optimization is one thing, but this needs to be implemented in a determenistic way.
No matter how bad the framerate is the outcome of a battle should always be the same.
Maybe a debug tool would help, so that we can replay a fight and show some numbers for enemy attributes and stuff.
Still recommending, but It doesn't feel good to have a perfect strategy and the game isn't able to calculate it correctly.
3 votes funny
76561198276996663

Recommended7 hrs played (7 hrs at review)
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3 votes funny
76561198012306007

Not Recommended13 hrs played (6 hrs at review)
Dont make a Achievement that get to year 99, i go rat build crash about 30 times and on the last crash the game bugs adding king of stone to the roaster when i was avoiding him and never picked him to then get him lose all my money and then lose in 1 seconds of the round starting very sick bug i hope you can fix this so i can 1 get this Achievement or to have fun playing a rat build, other then that A really good and fun game for the cost
3 votes funny
76561198080696729

Recommended22 hrs played (20 hrs at review)
If this was released when I was in school as a flash game, my career outlook would’ve been completely cooked.
Game wasn’t released a decade ago and my career outlook is still completely cooked, but at least I have 9 Kings
10/10 game
2 votes funny