SteamCritique
Quiz
🌐 EN
No, I'm not a HumanNo, I'm not a Human
Shot a Visitor, crushed a beer, then stared at the blinds for 3 hours like Malcolm seeing the CIA in his backyard. 10/10 gameplay, trust no one, not even the fridge.
50 votes funny
Shot a Visitor, crushed a beer, then stared at the blinds for 3 hours like Malcolm seeing the CIA in his backyard. 10/10 gameplay, trust no one, not even the fridge.
50 votes funny
can't sex hunter.
10 votes funny
I fell for the Alt+F4 message from a random phone number I saved from a radio broadcast. Didnt save. Fresh restart after an hour. 10/10, will be running it back again.
8 votes funny
4 out of 5 dentists recommend this game! It's Home Alone written by Stephen King Very unique game which I loved since the demo. Note to dev: There's still THE bug from the demo; start the game with M/K, plug in your gamepad and play. Let's say you want to go back to M/K > Now there's no pointer with both mouse or gamepad which soft-locks you. And this is a game where you can't just save and load every few seconds, please fix this!
8 votes funny

No, I'm not a Human. I'm an indie dev.

(And neither are my customers^) Strongly do not recommend buying or playing it. An infinitely better alternative is to quickly skim through a YouTube video recording of this game. The audiovisual experience is mostly fine (minus the very lame censored gore, which seems to have been forcibly applied to the game just before release) and the little immersion and detail into this world is fun especially for people from the relevant parts of the world, but the game itself is shallow, poorly thought out, unorganised and in general a waste of time that is accompanied by a lot of distastefully written dumb foul language and a veil of atheistic pretentiousness The game also suffers strongly from petty and malicious game design , especially the save system . It is tied to a consumable item that can be replenished only sometimes and it compromises the acquisition of other consumable items , which hinders the player's exploration of the game greatly . The sly developer's malpractice here is intentional as it is a way to ensure that play-hours are accumulated (first of all to minimise the amount of refunds , secondly to establish a form of "credibility" through means of "look how long this and that user has played the game for , It must be good and with content !") , by forcing the player into situations where, if they have to step away from the computer, they must choose to leave the game running or closing it but then on the next session restarting from a much earlier point in the game . This is intensely disrespectful of a human's free time and will Exactly the kind of wrongdoing that the "games are art" and the overexcited indie-worshipping infantile hiveminds tend to celebrate. Speaking of which, the game has a whopping of 10 or so endings, because God forbid a game has one ending - the neglected brain of the zoomer will start to hopelessly and desperately search, over-analyse and then convulse from the lack of "content" and "deep" meaning. Obedient dog, you must experience all of these 10 endings and to do so you shall play through this short but painfully SLOW, REPETITIVE, LINEAR game 10 times, because a decent save, checkpoint or restart system could not be incorporated into the game, because the typical gamer has no self-respect and no time and space awareness, just a narrow mind focused on the chasing of numeric entities A relatively interesting world is presented, but to explore it you must engage in completely unnecessary repetition. Very foul authorship. Looks cool at first but reveals itself to be a slog, another morally bankrupt little island in a sea of shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5TbfwLefSA
6 votes funny
Only here are shaved armpits and a dazzling smile not a cosmetics ad, but proof that someone just crawled out of the ground.
6 votes funny
Lost my save or whatever why do we not get an autosave or an exitsave?? drank my kombucha at the start, wanted to stop playing, thought it saves automatically, lost 2 hours of progress, prolly refunding tbh
5 votes funny
I’m tired of recommending it. I’m just gonna grab a beer and crash
5 votes funny
Yes, I'm a Human
4 votes funny
if a shirtless guy comes, let him in :)
3 votes funny
not only can you pet the cat, but you can also make some poor minimum wage employee walk through an apocalyptic hellscape to deliver cat food to your door that you can then feed to the cat. 10/10 game
4 votes funny
Seems interesting as a game. But: No save feature. No save on exit. (EDIT: to be more accurate, you can save, with an item that you cannot obtain without metagaming the game: refusing people trying to get them to bribe you with said item, which is random. For me this means there's no saving. I'm not ruining my game to obtain a save item.) Not warned in any way by the game of this. Also, as a sidenote, it's made by grey-area Russian devs using Cyprus publishers to avoid sanctions, which is always iffy to me, I mention it because you may be more or less inclined to ignore this. I will revisit my review if save on exit is added asap. I will not play this game without save on exit. I cannot afford to be jailed by a game, forced to keep it open if I have other things to do because otherwise HOURS of gameplay are at stake. Sorry.
3 votes funny
Expected something else. I expected it to be more like paper's please. Figuring out, whats wrong with the people. But it's just RNG. Grave Diggers having dirty fingernails, the old ass nun no teeth, etc. Consistent signs that people are not human, but there aren't. The Grave Digger has clean nails and the civilian i shot had spots on his picture and wasn't a visitor. That's my biggest gripe about the game, it doesn't feel like you have any sort of actual ways to figure out if they are a visitor or not, you just hope they aren't half the time, the other time, they are the only person alive in the room filled with trashbags... really makes you wonder if they are a visitor or not. The Story seems interesting, but not interesting enough to keep me going while being punished for shooting innocent people and leaving the visitors alive to eat a civilian.
3 votes funny
Actually - really nice game. Very interesting concept, but it's not worth it right now. When you shoot the Guest: Great atmosphere and artstyle Very unusual characters - but they always tell you the same stories. Some of them locked to be guests - I don't like this. I would like full randomisation or settings to set up difficulty. Interesting story. When the Guest come: Very hard to complete the game, random Guests can ruin everything. Hazmat dudes can take everyone normal and you loose. Literally VERY hard to win. Why you must check only in day when someone already died? I don't know. I will wait for more content. Very buggy: CUMbucha can lock your progress if you drink it at night. Beer sometimes impossible to use. Problems with gamepad. Checked person by teeth (bright and shiny), eyes (red) and hands (dirty) - you think this person is a Guest and deal with it. Nah - it was a human. I think It's not fair. I will be fair and I checked the endings. I'm not going to spoil it, but this game made for doomers (people who are extremely pessimistic or fatalistic). Such games not for me.
3 votes funny
I Woke up, watched some tv, had a beer then took a nap.. later that night, I had a bunch of people knocking on my door.. I let a few inside, told others to piss of.. woke up the next morning to a stinky house, then decided to play this game. 10/10
3 votes funny
Some tall shirtless dude? uhh.. CHECK Fridge full of beer? DOUBLE CHECK (almost run out) Cat? GRUMPY! MEOW CHECK!!! Sun is a bit hotter than ever but at least radio is working... and we'we got TV too! Come on in... everyone is welcome!
3 votes funny
This game is one of the scariest games I've ever played. Someone just took my beer. MY BEER...
3 votes funny
Amazing game but I'm not playing again until the save system is the same as the demo. In the demo, there was an auto save each night. Now you can only save with 1 time which seems kinda rare, which means you can lose hours of your progress.. or you just can't leave the game. What if I just want to play 30 minutes? Well now it's just inconvenient to play smaller amounts of time. I will change my review to a positive one once this has been changed.
2 votes funny
>open my home to a character i enjoy talking to >people start being murdered >shes a visitor.exe >but shes soo fun to talk to >just bring other people in, no problem >FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER FEMA TAKES A ACTUAL VISITOR AND ITS HER >foaming at the mouth > ate 3 mushrooms and became schizofrenic 10/10 amazing experience
2 votes funny
I guess I'm going to hell soon... See you in hell ! ;)
2 votes funny
> All alone in my house > The daughter of the neighbor asks if she can find shelter in here, I let her in > Some weird lookin guy asks if he can come in, "sure, whatever" > Wake up in the morning and the girl is gone > She didn't last a night Peak gameplay
2 votes funny
since the first demo for this game dropped on steam, I have been looking it up at least once a week to see when the release date would be announced. it was a thought provoking, stressful, unique and addictive experience that I couldn't wait to come back to and quickly made it my most anticipated game of the year. The second demo and now the game itself expand on what was already a gripping world and added more stakes, more to explore, more mechanics. If you liked silent hill, mouthwashing, bioshock, or if you miss real consequences in games (looking at you bethesda!), or if you just want a good story that stays with you long after the game is shut off, please do not pass this up
2 votes funny
Masterpiece 10/10
2 votes funny
An incredibly realistic and immersive simulation of what it's like to live in Texas.
1 votes funny
This is a human review
1 votes funny

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