SteamCritique
Quiz
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Quickie: A Love Hotel StoryQuickie: A Love Hotel Story
*sigh - clicks Add to Cart
268 votes funny
*sigh - clicks Add to Cart
268 votes funny
I am unhappy in my personal and professional life
121 votes funny
*click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click* **porn scene** *click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click*
91 votes funny
Jesus can turn water into wine, But i can turn her mother into mine.
90 votes funny
wait this isn't persona 5
56 votes funny
⢠⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⡤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀ ⡇⠉⠒⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Dad,⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠒⠤⣀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⡇is this Minecraft?⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠙⠒⠒⠒⢢ ⢀⠖⠒⠒⠶⠾  ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⠎⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⣲⢶⣶⣞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡥⢾⣘⣆⢱⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ •⠀ ⠀•  ⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⠈⠢⠤⠂⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠐⢤⣄⡈⢹⠉⣠⠔⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⢸⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠋⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⢸⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⠀⠀⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⢄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⣀ ⠀⣸⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠋⠀
44 votes funny
Dating? Sexual Content? Nudity? I don't know jack about those, all I've been doing is min-maxing the all my hotels and expanding my empire to the point I can rival the Yakuza's infamous trafficking ecosystem. And here's how you can too! Maximise Cleaning <*> Pump-dump your first two points into Cleaning and get it to 6 seconds cooldown. <*> Max out your cleaners in each of your hotel! <*> Make sure you match doubled rooms into their respective tiles! <*> Prioritise tiles with Gold Bonuses! (We're capitalists after all!) <*> Situate and position yourself for post-nut clarity: this is necessary for micro-managing during the mini-games. <*> Make the best out of a single day. If you have to research a new blueprint/room, do so after perfecting a management-shift. In Conclusion The animations and the consensual-intimate scenes are pretty aesthetically pleasing at times. But...the dialogue sometimes feels forced and unnatural, like Mai Ahane is pretty much a beaut but her personality is as plain as vanilla ice cream. Yet, most of the characters in this are pretty damn good, although incredibly unbelievable. Like its pretty cringe most of the time but its bearable. (Also...Toshiko best girl! Fight me.) Overall, fun early-access experience. And here's hoping for more! P.S: Don't ever date multiple women at the same time in real life! Especially if they're both mother and daughter. And, don't ask me as to why I am giving you this nugget of truth. (I may or may not watched some tele-novelas...
41 votes funny
Can play one handed.
38 votes funny
It's like Persona 5 but for degenerates
36 votes funny
I need proffesional help
36 votes funny
⠘⡀⠀Yes, I play NSFW games ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀ on my main account, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀ so what?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄
35 votes funny
Persona 5 but with out the saving the world part
35 votes funny
There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to take a look at himself in the mirror and wonder how exactly he reached such a place. You have to truly ponder what decisions you have made along the way that brought you to the place of your final reckoning. It is still unclear, even to me, why I purchased Quickie: A Love Hotel Story There isn't anything wrong with it, with those nudity scenes throughout it's perfectly stellar. But when you look at it as a choice, you realize just how flawed you and the rest of humanity is. What drove me to purchase such a game? What part of my soul felt so empty that I thought a virtual girl could fill it? When I look into the boundless depths of my own loneliness I see a pool of reflection. My face isn't there, there is no face. There are only tears in that pool, tears of shame and loss and confusion. If it were up to me again I know I would purchase it in a heartbeat, I know I would load it up and skip through the countless window prompts so I can have a single morsel of pornographic images which are readily available online. Yet, despite the abundance of naked virtual women waiting in the digital sphere, I still chose to purchase this game and devote hours of my life to it. That time will never return to me, it is lost just like my soul and just like the time I fear I may never find it again. There is something broken within me, something that desires sensation beyond my reach, something that whimpers every single night with the knowledge that there is no true Princess, it is a merely an illusion. In my pursuit to find meaning in this long life, I sought the colorful lights and sounds of a world that only exists in a pop up window on my computer. I am unsure what the moral of this review is, I am unsure about my place within the universe, all I know is that no amount of virtual girls can cure the vast rot that has overtaken me.
33 votes funny
I F*CKED : a librarian a friend a professor a soccer player a mother a homeless a designer a b1tch
28 votes funny
On my main steam account too
22 votes funny
can't sex mom >:(
21 votes funny
finished in 5 minutes and I'm not talking about the game
19 votes funny
This game is labeled as both a Simulation and Management title, which was the primary reason I purchased it. I expected a business simulation where players manage a Love Hotel. Instead, what I found was a game filled with pornography and "dating" elements, with only a token presence of business mechanics. Calling this game a management or simulation experience feels misleading. The business management aspect is severely underdeveloped, to put it mildly. For instance, I anticipated that managing expenses and maximizing hotel profits would be central to the gameplay. However, these elements are largely abstracted away. I wanted the ability to hire staff like janitors and receptionists, take out loans to expand the hotel rapidly, and deal with crises like guests accidentally damaging furniture. An insurance system to mitigate such events would also have added depth. Additionally, the game could benefit from incorporating dynamic market conditions. While it already includes increased demand and profits on weekends, this mechanic could be expanded. For example, a new superhero movie release could trigger a surge of guests wanting to roleplay superhero fantasies. Conversely, an economic downturn could result in fewer people visiting Love Hotels. Competition from other Love Hotels is another glaring omission. Players should be able to engage in strategies like loyalty programs or advertising to outcompete rivals. Finally, the game lacks any meaningful mechanics for navigating taxes, regulations, and other legal challenges, which are essential aspects of running a business. These elements would add much-needed complexity and realism to the gameplay.
17 votes funny
Am I unhappy with life? Yes. Does this game fill the endless void of pain, despair and sorrow most people would call a soul? Damn right it does. Probably the best game I've seen, 11/10.
17 votes funny
My family tree ends with me
16 votes funny
When life hands you melons, make melonade.
15 votes funny
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀yes, i played it on⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀my main account ⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀
13 votes funny
⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⡿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⠃⠸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠼⣛⣛⣭⢭⣟⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⢆⡠⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
13 votes funny
My nickname in Uni was "Quickie" as well! 10/10
13 votes funny
I'm totally doing my Homework.
12 votes funny

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