- launch the game - play with random character - "why theres no sound in my game?" - check audio settings... everything looks clear - "i think its bug" - continue playing for 15 minutes - see info panel and realized that my character actually deaf 10/10 what a great zombie-survival game

Took the car, went to mums, killed Phil. Sorry, Phil. Grabbed Liz, went to the Rosewood, had a nice cold pint and waited for the whole thing to blow over. 10/10

Woke up in a house. Turned on the TV. Watched a cooking show. Had some baked beans. Read a book. Took a walk and got chased into the forest by a horde of undead. Ripped my clothes and face to shreds on the bushes and trees. It started raining. So I broke into a house and cut half my body on the broken glass. Smashing the window attracted another horde that poured into the house. Tried to fend them off with a spoon. Grabbed a microwave, ran upstairs and blocked the stairs with the oven. All my food and gear is downstairs... and the TV. So now I will miss the 12 o'clock show about wooden floors. And that really ruined my day. Just buy the game. It's great.

Found a gun in a school locker. 11/10

The game was good before multiplayer. But after multiplayer, I was able to trade Sonic Fan fiction for gasoline for my car; just to crash the car and die 4 minutes later. So now the game is even better.

add sex

I am the Spoon Collector I spawn in a home, loot for spoons and a backpack Eat and drink only in ratio to my spoons 1 spoon = 1 meal, 1 spoon = 1 drink I am the Spoon Collector 10 or 11 backpacks full of spoons Kill zombies with only spoons Cannot fight more than one zombie at a time because the spoon Gods are unkind I am the Spoon Collector Decorate home with spoons in shapes of larger spoons Leave a spoon in the doorway of every looted home Break into homes only using spoons I am the Spoon Collector Go out side one day starving because of spoon fasting ritual The horde has cometh for my spoons Take as many as I can with me Kill me please I beg I am the Spoon Collector I survive miraculously, running through the horde The spoon gods grant me speed I am the Spoon Collector My spoon-base is overun Run into the woods, my injuries are severe The spoon gods grant me solace in the afterlife I am the Spoon Collector

Tried to survive the apocalypse with friends. Promptly remembered I have no friends. Every night I cry into a duffelbag full of nails and empty mayonnaise jars. I tried to keep a zombie in the bathroom so I could have a friend but he broke through the window and left me. devastated/10

The zombies are too hot

If you get bitten. Drink a bottle of bleach. It cures the infection.

-Chilling in my apartment -Go out for a walk, something seems wrong -The streets are deserted, I see several abandoned cars in the street -Blood splatters on the ground -Some moaning guy who stinks like a corpse attacks me, I shove him off of me but he doesn't back down -I end up smashing his skull in on the pavement with my boot -Hear more moaning behind me -Start running away -Corpse-like, rabid people everywhere -Notice a car with the keys in the ignition -Break in, drive as fast as I can, run over several rabid crazy people -Escape San Francisco, drive to my parents house, install project zomboid on my dad's computer and do the same thing again

btw new players press q to open doors

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠜⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠇⢀⣤⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣮⣭⣿⡻⣽⣒⠀⣤⣜⣭⠐⢐⣒⠢⢰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⠂⢈⢿⣷⣞ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⣿⠗⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠉⠑⠀⠀⢘⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠴⠶⠀⠀⢽ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣴⠁⢘⡙ ⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⠗⠂⠄⠀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡃ . Edit: please stop liking this please stop this isn't even funny please

>Spent hours collecting loot and supplies >started getting hungry >ran through hordes of zombies and cheated death multiple times whilst trying to make my way back home >popped some salmon in the oven >read some books >flame started to rise behind the oven >filled a pot full of water to put the fire out >didn't realise electrical fires were a thing >fire erupted into an inferno engulfing me, my friend and all my gear 10/10 would be ironcially killed by salmon again.

Best Sims 1 DLC yet

criminally lacking in sex mods

Was cornered in a bathroom and got too hot. Took off clothes to relieve myself. Zombies broke in to the bathroom to see me butt naked drinking out of the toilet. 10/10

I burned down the house next to mine to see what would happen and the fire spread to my house and burned it down too, it then spread through town and burned everything down. Fire is more dangerous than zombies There is no God There is only fire

2024 Review Update It's been a year since my last review. Time to update it: I bought this a week before I married my wife. Now I have two kids and I recently celebrated my 12th wedding anniversary . Still no NPCs. EDIT: Real talk, this is an extremely fun game. I absolutely love it and you should pick it up. I am shocked with how much detail the devs put into it. And they consistently puts on weekly updates. I do recommend checking out the beta version.

please add sex

women chased me 1/10 unrealistic

zombie has bitten me and I hid that fact to my friend he got to know that I was bitten when I died near him mid fight with a small group of zombies his character died because other zombies including me dragged him down to the ground and munched on him I have never heard him scream in such rage and disbelieve at me 11/10

Spawn in, die. Spawn in, run away, die. Spawn in, sneak away, survive a little bit, find a bat, die. Spawn in, sneak away, find a gun and ammo, boom boom of course, die. Spawn in, walk away, find a crowbar, "is that an alicepack?", sleep for the night, wake up and find a car, its a bit broken but it works, it stalls right next to a hoard, die. Spawn in, find a bat in your starting house, beat up a few zombies, find a warehouse with an axe, find a actually working car this time, drive to Louisville because you heard that its fun, find a military blockade and steal the entire armory, find a few mansions surrounded by tall fences and trees, might be good for a base, clear out the area, claim a home for yourself, things are looking good, decide to exercise for awhile, level up your strength 2 levels, food is running low, head to Louisville, "what was that the power?", find some canned food, the window smashes, just a few zombies, miss a swing, you've been bit, its over, try to disinfect the wound and bandage it, its helpless, you feel anxious, maybe its because you have not smoked in awhile, it wont go away, you feel queasy, speed straight into the heart of Louisville with your rifle and shotgun, you hear a helicopter in the distance, if you go down you will take as many of them down as you can, the helicopter finds you and starts following you, zombies are everywhere, you are barley able to move, find a clearing in the zombies and start gunning it, run into a car crash, the car is broken, the zombies are circling around you, sprint for a building and climb to the roof, the zombies are pouring into the doors below, watch the roof access door shatter as the zombies pour out, unload your entire mag from your rifle, killing 12, switch to the shotgun and blow off the heads of 4 with the first shot, keep shooting until your out of ammo, pull out your axe, chop down 5 of them before you are cornered, jump off the roof, shattering your leg, push away the zombie beside you as four others pull you down, you die.

The game has a tedious amount of unnecessary detail with everything you do, except when it doesn't. In one case, I stepped on glass barefoot which involved 5 different actions to apply proper first aid, including treating my hands which apparently got injured pulling the glass out of my feet. OK COOL. Then weeks later, spent 3 days catching and cooking fish for my teammates at a campfire next to a giant lake. Inexplicably catch fire moving past the campfire toward my tent. Option to stop/drop/roll? Nope. Option to beat out the flames? Negative. Option to -- I dunno -- jump into the GIANT FUCKING LAKE 2 feet from me? NOPE. You can't enter the water AT ALL. First through third degree burns to treat? Nah. I watch my character simply burn up in 3 seconds and turn into a mound of ashes, WILE E. COYOTE style. All my gear gets instantly incinerated, including 2 firearms, canned food, metal tools, all the FLAME RESISTANT FIREFIGHTER GEAR I was wearing. Poof! Survived all the tiresome minutia this Sims+Win95: Zombie Edition throws at you for weeks, just to die in the most ludicrous and juvenile way imaginable. GG. GFY.

My friend gave me a friendship bracelet, and then I took our car and left him to die in Louisville when we got swarmed. I then went back later to search for him still wandering the streets... Lifeless. After killing him... again, I returned his body to our home and dug him a grave, built him a cross, and with tears in my eyes, filled in the grave. RIP Best Friend. 10/10 Would absolutely abandon my best friend to certain to death to save my own ass again.