SteamCritique
Quiz
🌐 English
TroveTrove
In the short time I've played this I've- -Shot flames out my rear end. -Turned into a dragon. -Built a space needle to the moon. -Attended a mushroom coronation. -Murdered everyone there. -Rode a Velociraptor. -Rode a Velociraptor as a dragon. -Used the dragon baby I stole as a weapon of mass destruction. -Met up with my friends. -Raided 10,001 dungeons. -Massacred the entirety of Texas. -Killed some pirates. -Become pirates. -Got bored and killed pirates again. -Built a 5-star hotel fortress. -Stopped an evil overlord from returning from beyond the grave. -Killed a family of spiders and lizards. -Ate pie. -Got drunk. -Went to heal and died cause my flask was empty from being drunk. -Came back from the dead. -Killed those who killed me. -Teabagged thier corpses. -Saw a unicorn. -Tried to burn said unicorn. -Got &%# kicked by unicorn. -Taunted best friends for not helping me. -Profanity. -Went to the beach. -Bedazzled my nipples. -Fished. -Rage quit and lit fish on fire. -Entered Tron. -Killed Cuthulu. -Destroyed aimbot. -leveled up & got phat l3wts. -Argue over who has better gear. -Raid some more stuff. -Danced. -Danced as a dragon doing Gangnam style while my friends mudered a robot with weapons crafted from it's babies. 10/10 Would dragon dance while killing babies again. EDIT: Holy crap, 372 likes? guyz seriously I never get this much attention, hmm, guess I should write something here... Nah, thanks for the likes suckas, go see Ant-Man, a superhero that doesn't suck. EDIT 2: Well somethinbg happend and I can't see how many people are still liking this, for those of you that hung around or are just reading here's a bonus █▀▀ㅤ █ ㅤ █ㅤ █ㅤ █ㅤ▀▀█▀▀ㅤㅤ█ㅤ █ㅤ █▀▀▄   ▀▀█ㅤ█▀▀█ㅤ █ㅤ █ㅤ ㅤ █ㅤㅤㅤ █ ㅤ █ㅤ █ ㅤ █   ▀▀▀ㅤ▀ ㅤ▀ㅤ ▀▀▀▀ㅤㅤ ▀ㅤㅤ ㅤ ▀▀▀▀ㅤ █▀▀   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ▄▀▀▄ㅤ█▀▀▄ㅤ █▀▀▄ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ█▄▄█ㅤ█ ㅤ █ㅤ█ ㅤ █ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ█ㅤ █ㅤ█ ㅤ █ㅤ█▄▄▀ ─────███────██ ──────████───███ ────────████──███ ─────────████─█████ ████████──█████████ ████████████████████ ████████████████████ █████████████████████ █████████████████████ █████████████████████ ██─────██████████████ ███────────█████████ █──█───────────████ █──────────────██ ██──────────────█────────▄███████▄ ██───███▄▄──▄▄███──────▄██$█████$██▄ ██──█▀───▀███────█───▄██$█████████$██▄ ██──█───█──██───█─█──█$█████████████$█ ██──█──────██─────█──█████████████████ ██──██────██▀█───█─────██████████████ ─█───██████──▀████───────███████████ ──────────────────█───────█████████ ─────────────▀▀████──────███████████ ────────────────█▀──────██───████▀─▀█ ────────────────▀█──────█─────▀█▀───█ ──▄▄▄▄▄▄▄────────██────█───████▀───██ ─█████████████────▀█──█───███▀──▄▄██ ─█▀██▀██▀████▀█████▀──█───██████▀─▀█ ─█────────█▄─────────██───████▀───██ ─██▄████▄──██────────██───██──▄▄▄██ ──██▄▄▄▄▄██▀─────────██──█████▀───█ ─────────███────────███████▄────███ ────────███████─────█████████████ ───────▄██████████████████████ ████████─██████████████████ ─────────██████████████ ────────███████████ ───────█████ ──────████ ─────████ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ▀▀█▀▀ㅤ█▀▀█ㅤ█ㅤ▄█ㅤ█▀▀ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ█ ㅤㅤ█▄▄█ㅤ█▀▀▄ ㅤ█▀▀ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ▀ㅤ ㅤ▀ㅤ ▀ㅤ▀ㅤㅤ▀ㅤ▀▀▀ █▀▄▀█ㅤ█ ㅤ █ㅤ ㅤ█▀▄▀█ ▄▀▀▄ █▀▀▄ █▀▀ █ ㅤ █ㅤ█ █─▀─█ㅤ█▄▄█ㅤㅤ █─▀─█ █ ㅤ █ █ ㅤ █ █▀▀ █▄▄█ㅤ█ █ㅤㅤ █ㅤ▄▄▄█ㅤ ㅤ█ㅤㅤ█ ─▀▀ ─ ▀ ㅤ ▀ ▀▀▀ ▄▄▄█ㅤ▄
3639 votes funny
In the short time I've played this I've- -Shot flames out my rear end. -Turned into a dragon. -Built a space needle to the moon. -Attended a mushroom coronation. -Murdered everyone there. -Rode a Velociraptor. -Rode a Velociraptor as a dragon. -Used the dragon baby I stole as a weapon of mass destruction. -Met up with my friends. -Raided 10,001 dungeons. -Massacred the entirety of Texas. -Killed some pirates. -Become pirates. -Got bored and killed pirates again. -Built a 5-star hotel fortress. -Stopped an evil overlord from returning from beyond the grave. -Killed a family of spiders and lizards. -Ate pie. -Got drunk. -Went to heal and died cause my flask was empty from being drunk. -Came back from the dead. -Killed those who killed me. -Teabagged thier corpses. -Saw a unicorn. -Tried to burn said unicorn. -Got &%# kicked by unicorn. -Taunted best friends for not helping me. -Profanity. -Went to the beach. -Bedazzled my nipples. -Fished. -Rage quit and lit fish on fire. -Entered Tron. -Killed Cuthulu. -Destroyed aimbot. -leveled up & got phat l3wts. -Argue over who has better gear. -Raid some more stuff. -Danced. -Danced as a dragon doing Gangnam style while my friends mudered a robot with weapons crafted from it's babies. 10/10 Would dragon dance while killing babies again. EDIT: Holy crap, 372 likes? guyz seriously I never get this much attention, hmm, guess I should write something here... Nah, thanks for the likes suckas, go see Ant-Man, a superhero that doesn't suck. EDIT 2: Well somethinbg happend and I can't see how many people are still liking this, for those of you that hung around or are just reading here's a bonus █▀▀ㅤ █ ㅤ █ㅤ █ㅤ █ㅤ▀▀█▀▀ㅤㅤ█ㅤ █ㅤ █▀▀▄   ▀▀█ㅤ█▀▀█ㅤ █ㅤ █ㅤ ㅤ █ㅤㅤㅤ █ ㅤ █ㅤ █ ㅤ █   ▀▀▀ㅤ▀ ㅤ▀ㅤ ▀▀▀▀ㅤㅤ ▀ㅤㅤ ㅤ ▀▀▀▀ㅤ █▀▀   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ▄▀▀▄ㅤ█▀▀▄ㅤ █▀▀▄ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ█▄▄█ㅤ█ ㅤ █ㅤ█ ㅤ █ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ█ㅤ █ㅤ█ ㅤ █ㅤ█▄▄▀ ─────███────██ ──────████───███ ────────████──███ ─────────████─█████ ████████──█████████ ████████████████████ ████████████████████ █████████████████████ █████████████████████ █████████████████████ ██─────██████████████ ███────────█████████ █──█───────────████ █──────────────██ ██──────────────█────────▄███████▄ ██───███▄▄──▄▄███──────▄██$█████$██▄ ██──█▀───▀███────█───▄██$█████████$██▄ ██──█───█──██───█─█──█$█████████████$█ ██──█──────██─────█──█████████████████ ██──██────██▀█───█─────██████████████ ─█───██████──▀████───────███████████ ──────────────────█───────█████████ ─────────────▀▀████──────███████████ ────────────────█▀──────██───████▀─▀█ ────────────────▀█──────█─────▀█▀───█ ──▄▄▄▄▄▄▄────────██────█───████▀───██ ─█████████████────▀█──█───███▀──▄▄██ ─█▀██▀██▀████▀█████▀──█───██████▀─▀█ ─█────────█▄─────────██───████▀───██ ─██▄████▄──██────────██───██──▄▄▄██ ──██▄▄▄▄▄██▀─────────██──█████▀───█ ─────────███────────███████▄────███ ────────███████─────█████████████ ───────▄██████████████████████ ████████─██████████████████ ─────────██████████████ ────────███████████ ───────█████ ──────████ ─────████ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ▀▀█▀▀ㅤ█▀▀█ㅤ█ㅤ▄█ㅤ█▀▀ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ█ ㅤㅤ█▄▄█ㅤ█▀▀▄ ㅤ█▀▀ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ▀ㅤ ㅤ▀ㅤ ▀ㅤ▀ㅤㅤ▀ㅤ▀▀▀ █▀▄▀█ㅤ█ ㅤ █ㅤ ㅤ█▀▄▀█ ▄▀▀▄ █▀▀▄ █▀▀ █ ㅤ █ㅤ█ █─▀─█ㅤ█▄▄█ㅤㅤ █─▀─█ █ ㅤ █ █ ㅤ █ █▀▀ █▄▄█ㅤ█ █ㅤㅤ █ㅤ▄▄▄█ㅤ ㅤ█ㅤㅤ█ ─▀▀ ─ ▀ ㅤ ▀ ▀▀▀ ▄▄▄█ㅤ▄
3639 votes funny
Hey, CubeWorld dev, this is what you get for three years of inactivity...
1993 votes funny
SWORD ART ONLINE: CAN'T LOG OUT TROVE: CAN'T LOG IN i r8 0/8
859 votes funny
LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 17 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 16 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 14 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 17 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 22 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 19 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 14 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 17 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 17 minutes. LS: Queue position: 1000+. Estimated wait: 16 minutes. 10/10 would wait again
538 votes funny
I played for one hour.. and then i played for 19 hours straight Edit: (i miss the time with my club) ): i don't play this really anymore..
514 votes funny
If you are here reading the reviews, you are either 1) Wonder if the game is good or 2) Waiting 69 hours for you to que in. Since you are here and have nothing to do, here's a pancake recipe that serves 8. But don't worry, you'll be eating your them all because that's how long it takes to que. Ingredients: 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon white sugar 1 1/4 cups milk 1 egg 3 tablespoons butter, melted 1. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth. 2.Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot. Also here are some riddles because you have nothing better to do. Q: What has a foot but no legs? A: A snail Q: What comes down but never goes up? A: Rain Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I? A: A candle Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it? A: It can have a hole in it. Q: What goes up when rain comes down? A: An umbrella! Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary? A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’ Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I? A: A fire One last thing, there are seven riddles for you to solve. It takes you forever to que up for a game. 7/forever=impossible. It's impossible to unbox a knife. If you pray to Gaben, you'll get a knife. Gaben has 5 letters. 7+5=12. 12 is the 12th number is the number system. 1+2=3. 3 is a special number. A triangle has 3 sides. Do you know what that means? After reading all this, your game still isn't qued up. Also trove is illuminati confirmed.
410 votes funny
It's just as good as Mom's Spaghetti
363 votes funny
It's kind of like Cube World, except not abandonded.
332 votes funny
Great Game :D back in the good old days I always get the newest class just from events and quests im lying you have to pay them I don't Recommend you to play this :D 10/10 I would definetlyNOT play this again :D
323 votes funny
Got kicked from the clan that I made... lol
281 votes funny
Best Waiting Simulator 2015 Will Wait Again 11/10
280 votes funny
I miss my family
279 votes funny
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232 votes funny
This game is fun and intresting But its missing something,i havent seen russians in it I cant understand is it bad or is it good?
225 votes funny
Total play time: 102 minutes Total queue time: 102 minutes Queue Simulator 2015 Not enough queueing 6/10 Edit:Finally got into the game, after waiting for 29mins the second time. They still need to work on their server capacity... you spend more time in queue than actually playing the game.
211 votes funny
You can jump more than twice! 10/10
211 votes funny
"Like skyrim with queueing" - IGN
207 votes funny
Disconnect Simulator 2015. 10/10
194 votes funny
loading simulator 2015
170 votes funny
Queue simulator 2015 11/10
161 votes funny
The dev team has got to be one of the most pants-embedded-in-skull backwards i've ever seen in terms of relating to their player base. If you're not one of the VIP-lister big names, you might as well not exist. If you are one of them, prepare to have the game rebalanced around your experience and given lavish rewards constantly just for being teacher's pet. I'm not exaggerating on this one - they recently as of the time of writing (05/01/2016) introduced Contests, where whoever has the most score in X category gets some pretty good prizes at the end of the week. Sounds fun? Well too bad this dev team are like fun mosquitos, because they managed to royally heck it up - mastery is a static statistic that can only possibly go up and catalogues how much stuff you've collected in the game. So those who already have everything get even more stuff, and those who are starting out get the finger. On that statement, i'm once again not exaggerating - one of the first weekly contests was akin to "how many dungeons can you clear". This resulted in hordes of high-end players descending upon the lowest level worlds like a plague of jackass locusts and cleared all the dungeons in a crazed gluttonous frenzy that'd make the zerg themselves soil their carapace. Why is this bad? Because the new players couldn't get any levelling up done because all the dungeons had been one-shot by the high end turd brigade. Now I know, you could put this one more on the community than the devs themselves. However, I don't believe for one second nobody internally didn't forsee this happening. Are you seriously going to tell me that a dev team which as far as i've seen consists of at least seven people (most likely quite a few more) didn't confer among themselves and think "Hey, we should probably put some kind of limit on this!"? What are they paying these nimrods in, pocket lint? You may be noticing a trend here - that new players get the shaft a lot, and that I use the phrase "i'm not exaggerating" a lot. I'm having to throw in these disclaimers because as I type this myself there's still some itching, tickling feeling somewhere buried deep in my brain that tells me "Come on, no one can possibly develop something this stupid.". Oh they can. They can. Did I recall the nerfs to a whole bunch of stuff which has made the game harder than ever for new players to get into, at the profit of the highest-end dev suckup players? Let's list a few! - Classes, formerly available for an ingame currency you get a small daily stipend of, are now pay-only. You can get five or so for free by jumping through some various hoops, but once you've done that you have to open your wallet and bend over, or leave. This wouldn't be so bad if some classes weren't outright gimped, so it's entirely possible for a new player to make five crappy picks and then just be stuck. - Dragons, a form of personal progression that grant account-wide power, have been made harder and harder to get. Dragon coins, the ingame currency you need to unlock them, have been made untradeable so you've got to accumulate 300 per dragon all by your lonesome. How do you get them? Hourly challenges, where you've got 20 minutes to clear X amount of dungeons in a specific area... which you get bonuses for if you're in a high level world, and if you're using one of two classes randomly picked from all the currently existing classes. See how that's a problem when you're low level and don't have many classes unlocked? Well unlock all classes, and you ca- oh. Oh dear. - Content expansions. The new expansion Mantle of Power just came out as of the time of writing, and jesu cristo crocodrillo. I'll get to the myriad of inherent problems with that in a moment. How does it affect new players? It affects them negatively because a bunch of options have been "re-balanced" (read: nerfed into oblivion) around the new high-end content. The knock on effects of this on new players seem to have been totally ignored - the players who already have few options other than "grind more" and "git gud". Double damage emblems which grant you a buff that actually makes you able to kill stuff in a reasonable timeframe got nerfed twice - first the ingame currency cost was raised, and then it got reduced to lasting something like 3 seconds, down from around 7 or 8. Why? Well, because **** YOU, THAT'S WHY. BUY MORE OF OUR STUFF. That's just three pointers. I could go on all day, which you're probably feeling like I have already at this point, though in all honesty spending an equal amount of time reading this or playing Trove seems like you'd feel more accomplished after reading this. Now as I said, the new expansion really shows off how creative the dev teams are. A lot of end game players were complaining that all they really had to do once they got there was grind grind grind. Don't worry, Avarem and his team have you covered! With the new themed elemental worlds to explore, you can do the following: - Grind the same dungeons as before BUT ON THE SEA! - Grind the same dungeons as before BUT IN LAVA! - Grind the same dungeons as before BUT IN THE SKY! - Fight a zerg rush of boss monsters for a randomized prize that you can only get out of a chest if you brought a key that you can only get randomly from a box that randomly drops, the prize being a gem that you need to level up BUT there's a random chance of failing to level up and smashing the gem into a million bits but don't worry there's an item in our cash shop that can repair the gem and then you can break it again because you had the audacity to try and make progress but don't worry, BEND OVER PEASANT, IT'S WALLET TIME. Then, there's gems. Ohhhhh boy. Okay. This one's going to take a bit of explaining for the layman's benefit, but at this point you've already read the 500 meters, why not go for the reading marathon? Reading is good for you! So pre-release in Trove the gear system was.. not great. Gear could only be improved so far, so it was possible to get a "bad drop" which would have terrible stats you don't want and you'd be stuck with it unless you want to go find some other thing. If it was a high level drop with bad stats? Too bad for you, grind more. This was rather unpopular and was eventually replaced with the current system where any piece of gear can be forged all the way up from the lowest to the highest quality and you could re-roll the random stats. Get a cool-looking sword with bad stats on it? No problem, just get some crafting materials to muck with it a bit until you've got the stats you want on it and you're good. Now gems, the new "power yourself up" thing comes out... and they run off the old gear system they scrapped that nobody liked. What. Not only that, but you can't see all the stats on them from the get-go. You have to upgrade them at a not-at-all cheap cost (which can fail and smash the gem as previously stated), at which point you can despair at your wizard being equipped with a physical damage gem ALL ALONG, that you need to pay to remove from the slot. Doublewhat. I despair to think anyone in the dev team thought they were being clever with this. Folks didn't like it once, they ain't gonna like it a second time with a bit of window dressing on it, genius! Wow, i've actually hit the character limit on reviews. Weird. Closing word: I looked up the lead dev's development history. He has worked exclusively on flops, and it shows here. This game had potential, but not with this jerkoff leading the show. Burn the fields, salt the earth, start over - there's not going to be any good gaming to be found here until Trion does that. Also note the dev response doesn't really address anything set forth here. Good job!
154 votes funny
good if u want to waste ur life grinding this game ruined my life my wife left me and took the kids but i kept playing trove
150 votes funny
(Gives a huge grin to Cube World Dev) It's okay Wollay these guys got us covered. Thanks for abandoning us.
140 votes funny
Pros: LEGOS! More Pros: Can't step on the LEGOS! Cons: Real life LEGOS don't crash.
138 votes funny
Nobody reads reviews for sure, so I'll say I'm gay
125 votes funny

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