Hello, cheeky chaps! For starters, what's the first thing that comes to mind when you saw this game? That's right, this isn't Call of Duty! This game is Country-Steak: Sauce and yes, it's a dank one, mate. Tesco's finest said so right on the package.
First time playing, you're going to get mega wrecked and question yourself, ''How do I quickscope?''. If you're feeling down like the little, fedora wearing scrub that you are, why not get your noob butt popped with a solid, mint-condition bag of Doritos and to cool off your edgy skills with some Mountain Dew? Don't forget to even add in that inaudible dubstep that just adds passion and flare to your MLG gaming experience. If you repeat all of these actions, you just might have the chance to receive a granted entry into FaZe clan or a casting audition for the next special episode of EastEnders. Damn son, how does that sound and where'd you find this? You'll be the face of the MLG jubilee. Scrubs and hackers alike will all be wrecked by your hands, and may just in fact denote you as a cheeky Illuminati ninja, or possibly even a stupid autistic camper. As you can see, you're definitely around the corner from a notorious OpTiC application and a B&Q. By the way, check out my mate, Derrick on YouTube, if he reaches twenty subscribers, he'll do a dank giveaway. But if you don't, I'm afraid you will be eaten by the spooky scary skeletons and brought down to the depths of an Aldi's public urinal.
This game has many different servers of I don't bloody know, ducky darling. So, be sure to check them out, mate, or not, I don't give a damn. But please, do not ever lie about what happens to you when you play this game, if you're caught hacking, lose all your weed and fedora and get a VAC ban, it's your fault, you dirty, dragon eating, little s-p-a-s-t-i-c. On a related note, be careful of hackers, not only are they noobs, but they will definitely steal your fresh swag and obey cap in the process.
Make sure that there are no snipers creeping behind you, so you can easily deck them in their heads, with your mighty yet cheeky, 360 no' handscope, pimp slap, as you're followed by the blinding lense flare. The mechanics, noscopes, hardscopes and of course, the precious quickscopes in this game are so amazing, that it'll leave you screaming, ''Mum, get the camera!'' with joy, enthusiasm and adrenaline, as you easily hook all your opponents in their puny little gabbers. You're now the star with the inevitable saying, ''Watch this, lads.'' followed by only the kills a CoD global elite sniper could pull off. with every euphoric game that passes by, be sure to treat yourself to a quick blaze of a dank blunt, right around 4:20pm, with a wee giggle, typing in the Doritos, crust-infested keyboard, ''gg lads no re.'' never leave it as, ''sample text.'' As it will only just make them more edgy and make them beg for your Steam login as well as full access to your memes. Poopy hackers, don't talk crap to me online, or I'll ban you, my dad works for Colgate toothpaste.
By the way, did I mention this game is great?
This was brought to you by Tesco's everyday value tomato soup, with special thanks to Kelloggs' cereal for the weed flakes to help me write this review. They're so great, mate, only 20p each. Haha, Asda once tried to bribe me to not write my reviews, what a packet of Hob-knobs. Subscribe to my flaming channel, old chap, for Pete's sake and remember to give this review a like so my Nan's dead soul can finally rest in pepperoni, after getting shanked outside Sainsbury's.
On a final ending note, got any crisps?
